Category: WORDS TO LIVE BY

Today, I would love it if we could all take a collective breath in time, and wish a beautiful soul the  eternal rest she deserves.

Last week, we heard that 36 year old nurse and mum of three Areema Nasreen had succumbed to the virus whilst fighting to save others.

She sadly passed away.

The nurse who was described by her friends and colleagues as an angel who only ever wanted to help, was healthy and strong.

It’s a stark reminder that every day, thousands of key workers are putting themselves at risk for the greater good. For us all.

They are truly earth angels and this earth angel has sadly, returned home.

I can’t begin to imagine the heartbreak her children and family feel but my heart goes out to them all.

Areema, you will not be forgotten.

You were a hero till the last.

May you rest in peace.

Dear Mums,

Please remember one thing on your list of 400 today..

You are not a teacher. You are a parent.

You’re not home schooling, you’re ‘crisis’ schooling.

You cannot possibly become a skilled professional overnight and do it whilst the world around you crumbles and grinds to a halt.

Your job is to continue some sort of a ‘fun’ learning structure, with love. 

Patience above anything.

That’s your goal every day.

To not feel so strangled by the pressure, that you transfer it over in the form of ‘yes you can do this you’re not listening’….

This is hard.

I mean, it’s really hard.

If you get through this with nothing achieved or ‘taught’ but you kept everyone safe and calm…

You are a warrior.

The kids will learn when they are back in school.

From you, right now, they will learn that they are loved and that their Mummy is a legend.

She held it together.

That’s enough.

It’s so very much enough.

When her hard times come, she will look back, straighten her crown and remember whose daughter she is.

Or he will remember whose son he is.

And that, is pretty amazing work, if you ask me.

You got this.

We got this.

Donna Ashworth

©️ Ladies Pass It On

As Coronavirus claims lives all over the world, today, I would like to take a moment to say rest in peace, to a beautiful young girl who died yesterday.

Emily Owen. Age 19.

The thing is, Emily took her own life. 

The fear, stress and anxiety of a world changed beyond comprehension was too much for her to bear and I fear this will be the case for many more.

We keep hearing the phrase ‘unprecedented times’ and it really, truly is.

Nothing like we have ever seen before.

We must look after each other and reach out to those in isolation who may struggle more than most.

Emily was young, beautiful and energetic. Her friends say she was the one who was first to help them in any way she could.

But isolation was too much for her and she could not make it through.

We are all staying at home to save lives, which is wonderful. 

Some of us cannot stay at home and must face the fire every day. This is beyond wonderful.

Let us try not see a large death toll from depression, alongside the virus.

We can all do something to help someone who is in over their head.

We are better together.

Even when apart.

Share positivity and spread light where you can.

Thank you.

People Of The UK, Please Listen…

I am a place to go for inspiration, not for scaremongering.

But it’s time for me to share some truths from my friends in Italy and Spain.

I fear the UK is not listening.

There are body bags being taken out of houses all the time. My friends have sent me the videos, heartbreaking.

There are no beds, no ventilators left. Doctors are choosing who to save.

This is utterly terrifying. This is life or death, every 15 minutes in Madrid. Literally.

And people on my Facebook groups are still getting their hair done, their nails done and having ‘smaller’ parties, why?

Because we are a week or two behind this and because we have not been forced to lock down, yet.

We will be in exactly this position very soon.

Why are we not learning from the examples in front of our very eyes?

IF WE DO NOT STAY AT HOME WE WILL KILL OTHERS.

My friends abroad want you to know that you do not have to have symptoms to pass this on, many times.

It is not the people who know they have it who are infecting, it is everyone else.

And it is coming.

PLEASE STAY AT HOME IF YOU CAN.

My friend here in the UK is in hospital, she is young, she is healthy, she is telling me how she is in an isolation room and sees no one, the nurses must fully cover up just to open her door. 

I know people who have lost loved ones already

This is your call to duty, to do nothing.

Yes money is a huge worry for us all but this is life we are talking about.

We will be in utter crisis very very soon, just like China, then Italy and now Spain too.

Do something NOW.

It’s beyond time.

I have seen so many posts flying around social media telling parents what to do with their kids during this time of isolation.

Some have great ideas for play, craft and discipline.

Others say just sing and read and dance and play with them…create a safe place they say, where your children can feel loved and calm.

Here’s the thing..

Some days you will do all of that.

Some days you will do some.

Some days you may hit the wall and barely be able to keep the lid on your anxiety as the fear, financial worry and panic engulfs you.

So,

Make a plan, by all means, but whatever you do know this.

Your children are loved.

They know they are loved. It’s intrinsic.

They can sense your distress no matter how well you hide it anyway,

so teach them that it’s ok to be afraid.

That it’s ok to not know what to do sometimes.

That it’s ok to waste a day for no reason, other than, you just can’t deal.

Teach them that when things go down, you ride the rollercoaster and take each corner as it comes.

This is a time history will remember and your kids will remember your bravery but only because they saw you work at it.

Bravery is knowing the risk, feeling the fear and facing it. 

It doesn’t come naturally.

We have to create it. 

We have to learn how.

That’s a lesson worth teaching.

Dear Key Workers,

I can’t imagine the pressure you must be feeling right now, as the world retreats and you go forward to the fire.

I can’t imagine the fear you must be facing as you place your children in school, knowing that they will be looked after but not knowing if they will be safe from the bigger threat.

Will you be safe from the bigger threat?

I can’t imagine how heavy the weight of a nation’s expectation must feel on your already burdened shoulders.

Stay strong.

When this is over, and it will be over one day, you will be responsible for something much less heavy.

You will be responsible for keeping a nation running whilst it faced its biggest threat in more than a century.

You will be responsible for history, for staying at the front line to save us all.

You will be a hero.

You already were but now you will be seen.

I see you.

Thank you for stepping up whilst we all step down.

When this is over, your happy days will be bright.

We are watching with appreciation and wishing you luck.

Great Britain 

That you can handle everything this week throws at you.

And I think this week may throw a lot.

But you got this.

You have been through hard times before and you have come out smiling.

Everything you need to survive the next few weeks, is not in the supermarket, it’s inside of you.

Hope.

Courage.

Calm.

Kindness.

Resilience.

Humour.

All of these things are contagious.

Spread them.

This week is a temporary chapter in your book my friend, and you are the hero of your own story, so bring out the big guns.

You got this.

Dig deep.

This pandemic is something like most of us have never faced in our lifetimes. As a generation, (I am mid 40s), we have had it pretty good.

We have studied periods of oppression, wars, pandemics and maybe we rolled our eyes every now and again at one too many, ‘You kids don’t know you’re born’ statements.

Well this is our time to know we are born.

I truly believe that if we work together, as a WORLD, we can get to grips with this infection and stop it ravaging our weak and vulnerable.

I also truly believe that this will change our society for the good, long term.

Life will somehow be sweeter after this blows over and we will have gratitude in spades for the things we took for granted.

We will be humbled but we will be kinder.

So, the kids are watching, listening but mostly feeling the vibes around them, let’s show them what resilience is.

Let’s show them how to stay positive when disaster hits.

Let’s show them that we created an online world for a reason and here it is, we can connect, we can assist, we can follow the examples we are being shown so we don’t have to experience it everywhere.

Your kids will be as calm and feel as safe as you make them feel.

Get them involved finding out who needs help in the community.

This will benefit them for years to come.

People, we are a team here.

If one of us follows the rules and another doesn’t, we are all affected.

So, let’s connect, lets focus and let’s stay positive until we beat this.

We totally and utterly got this.

I know it.

Oh, and if you haven’t watched the video of Italians singing together from their balconies to raise spirits, watch it. It’s a must.

Donna Ashworth

Even when you’re knee deep in the s**t

You can still smell the roses

In fact, it’s the time you need to smell the roses the most.

And they’re still there, the roses. They’re still there, smelling beautiful. 

If you stick your little chin up to the sky and sniff.

You’ll see.

They’re still there.

My friend. 

Times are about to get pretty tough and it’s scary and overwhelming but remember, this will pass.

Keep smelling the roses and looking for the positives.

Keep laughing.

Stay grateful. 

Most importantly, keep hope.

Hope has moved mountains in the past and it will again.

When it’s all you have, hold on to it and spread it around.

We will get through it.

Smell the roses 

You are going to come across a lot of very worried people this week, following the announcement that Covid-19 is officially a Pandemic.

Some will hide it with a smile, a laugh and a throwaway remark. Some will tell you all about their fears and some will not let it show at all.

But the worry will still be there inside, chipping away and doing its worst.

Medical anxiety is a very real thing for many and even for those of us who don’t fear the worst in every eventuality, our health and the health of those we love is a very big deal indeed.

There is also a very real financial crisis ahead and the worry of that could be affecting those around you more than you know

So maybe choose your words and your actions over the next few weeks, based on the big picture.

I think, a lock-down and isolation period of some kind is unavoidable for most of us within the next few weeks but we can make it work by seeing the  light at the end of the tunnel and being part of a wider deal..

We can be prepared mentally, perhaps more than practically, for what is ahead and we can work together to contain the rise of this virus and hold back the wave of destruction.

I see some people creating little what’s app groups within their neighbourhoods, to ensure supplies, advice and assistance are available to all.

I like that.

There will be many people extremely stressed about their health and whether or not they will handle this bug should it come, those are the people we should focus on.

Keep spirits up, keep fridge’s stocked, keep ‘real’ advice coming.

Keep laughing but don’t overlook the threat involved.

It’s something we may never have come across before, but it’s here, and we need to face it.

So, let’s face it together and let’s face it good.

You’re going to come across a lot of very worried people this week, so be ready with your words and your actions.

They have more impact than you think.

#covid19 #pandemic #keepcalm

Suicide is the true pandemic here people. The statistics are absolutely terrifying.

ONE PERSON EVERY 40 SECONDS TAKES THEIR OWN LIFE, according to The World Health Organisiation.

Worse, the numbers are higher now than ever.

So, instead of stock-piling the last toilet rolls on the shelves and making sure you will be okay should this virus hit your home….

How about making sure there are enough items left for those in need, those who can’t afford to stock-pile, those who only get out shopping when someone comes to take them.

How about checking in on elderly neighbours or those with learning difficulties, who may be extremely worried with the panic news created by the media.

How about making sure you know the actual facts so you can put your own mind and anyone else’s, at rest.

How about taking everything you read with a pinch of salt and refusing to share the mass hysteria created by the media, to make money, for the media.

We are a small planet, really.

The ‘Every man for himself’ attitude creates isolation, hostility, panic and hysteria.

And our society is struggling enjough already.

So, let’s stick together people. The media is out for itself, not for the good of the masses.

We need each other and we need to look after our own.

This will all be over soon so rather than fill your cupboards for an apocalyse, let’s make sure that those who actually are at danger (a very small percentage of the population) make it through.

We will be just fine.

Finally, how about we add to the list of vulnerable; those with depression and mental health issues.

This could be the last straw for anyone balancing that tightrope.

Be kind.

Donna Ashworth

Here’s the thing,

The world is in chaos.

When chaos occurs, the most dangerous thing that can happen is ‘every man for himself’.

We self-isolate.

We panic buy.

We stop shaking hands.

We avoid crowds.

This is all practical advice and has merit, but, we have to remember one thing here… if you are going to catch the virus you are going to catch it.

You cannot possibly second guess how or where. It is IMPOSSIBLE.

What you can do, is protect the vulnerable. Those who may genuinely be at risk if they do get it (most of us will be absolutely fine).

Think of who, around you, is at risk and make sure they are looked after.

Are they up to date on all advice? 

Are they well fed and being kept as healthy as possible?

If not, you can help with that.

If we panic buy, stocks will become depleted and the needy may just miss out.

So, chances are some of us will get the virus and most of us WILL BE FINE.

Stress, panic and worry are known to affect the body’s ability to regulate. It won’t help.

You can…

Stay calm.

Be mindful.

Help others prepare.

Keep your own immune system up by taking vitamins and eating well.

Share good advice.

Stay away from scaremongering.

Wash your hands.

Wash your hands.

Wash your hands.

You can’t…

Stop the virus 

Protect yourself completely.

We are all in this together whether we like it or not. 

Protect the weak, stay calm, be aware.

It’s the only thing we can do.

I will be here…

Holding doors open for strangers.

Helping my elders carry their bags.

Listening to a story when time is already too tight.

Smiling at passers by.

Making babies laugh in coffee shops.

Throwing compliments out like confetti.

Making people believe they are worthy.

Letting cars cut in front of me.

Sharing posts that inspire positivity and joy.

Being a big old bad-ass ball of light and kindness.

That’s all I know how to do and sometimes, it’s enough.

To the woman who looks around and wonders, why everyone else is so much more capable. So much stronger.  So much more ambitious, than her.

To the woman who thinks everyone else is blazing a fiery path through this thing we call life, while she limps behind, barely getting through the days.…

Somewhere, another woman is looking at you thinking exactly the same, my friend. 

You see, we all look like we’re kinda nailing it, from the outside in.

We all look ‘together’ sometimes. Catch us on the right day and hey, we look like we have it all.

Because guess what, we learned to look that way a long time ago. We learned to hide our struggles behind a smile and whack on that mask every day.

And actually, we are doing each other a favour when we show up, just as we are, warts and all, late, flustered, human.

What we really need to see is that we are all the same. We all struggle.

We all fall apart.

Some days we nail it, other days we get nailed.

By hiding our own weaknesses, fears, worries, we give them more power. If you let it out, shine a light on it all, it becomes so much less scary, funny even…

And goodness only knows we need to laugh.

So, to the woman who wonders if she is good enough…

If this is you.

Yes you are. 

You always were.

You don’t have to live up to everyone’s expectation of how you should be coping.

You are human, flawed, wonderful, miraculous, loveable, loved.

I see you,

Now do me a favour and go see all the others too.

Spread the word, we are good enough, just as we are.

Donna Ashworth

I see you. I see how much strength it takes to face the day.

To turn on the news, the radio. To expose yourself to the cruelty of this world.

I see you fighting off negativity every minute of every hour.

You’re not weak my friend. You’re not.

You’re actually undeniably brave, because you feel every single bullet fired, when so many others seem to dodge them effortlessly.

You take the hits but you keep going and keep smiling.

Even when the quick-sand is sucking you under with a force so terrifyingly strong…

You pull yourself out.

So, remember one thing, being sensitive is tough I know, like facing a blizzard without a coat, but it’s also a gift.

You bring so much light to this dark place.

Your sensitivity is what the human race needs now to evolve past the war, the suffering and into a peaceful future of enlightenment.

Your superpower comes into play around about now as the world ‘wakes’ up.

You are already woken my friend. You’ve been awake since the day you were born 

Now it’s time to stand up and be counted. 

You’re not weak, you are evolved. 

I see you. 

Donna Ashworth 

I put myself out there as the ‘face’ behind the page. Mostly because I wanted it to succeed so badly and I believe a personal connection works best.

I’m not the most confident of people, I come across very confidently ‘in real life’ but actually I am beyond sensitive and so very easily hurt (probably why my writing resonates), so this was already a disaster about to happen.

And it did.

I was trolled. Mercilessly in one instance by a woman (I think) who was able to anonymously email my site and leave the nastiest comments you can imagine. I deleted every one, they never made it online for anyone else to read, so she knew these messages were only for my eyes and yet she continued. That somehow made it even more chilling.

She was mean. She started to bring my marriage and my kids into it which made me feel so vulnerable as though she knew me but I guess social media makes us all ripe for the picking if you know where to look.

My wonderful friend Marc who created my beautiful site sent his team to work blocking her wifi but she would log into public places and that was her deal.

It was stressful. I would get over it, then wake up to a new message in my inbox that made my heartbeat speed up and my skin go cold.

Eventually we silenced her, then a few weeks ago, bam. There she was. Instant dread. Was it even the same person? I don’t know and I never will, this is the nature of putting yourself online, you are unable to hide but they can.

So, my point is, within months I removed myself from the page, no traces left. I stuck to writing anonymously and I was able to gather followers anyway, which I’m so grateful for. 

I just could not cope with the awful feeling of opening my emails and holding my breath to see what vitriol would be there next. 

I was ugly, 

I was haggard, 

I was a terrible writer, 

I was a joke to everyone,

I was a bad mother, 

I was a fake, 

I was in a bad marriage, 

My kids names were pretentious, 

I was a laughing stock,

I was my husband’s second best, 

I was oblivious to the fact my friends all hated me. 

Just an example…

And all because I set up a little page on facebook.

Can you even imagine what celebrities are dealing with every minute of every day?? Sure they have the money, the fame, the bonuses to go with but the feeling of strangers knowing things about you and using that to tear you down is something I can’t explain.

This woman went to such lengths to bring me pain, blocked so many times but figuring out ways to get through. She spent years silently hounding me. 

Little old me who is not famous. Why??? 

She never ever got a reaction from me, I simply deleted and moved on. 

Imagine if she was just one of hundreds.

Thousands.

We, as a nation, can do better than this.

We can start a movement where people who do this kind of thing are taken to task, tracked down and charged. 

It’s not ok.

It’s gaslighting.

It’s psychological torture and if it’s coming at someone from a million different angles, it must be hell.

I started this page because I love women, I love fierce female friendships that are strong and powerful and can handle anything together. How ironic that she would target me.

I take my hat off to anyone who deals with this on a daily basis, they deserve the glamour, the money and the spoils. 

Oh they really do.

So, if you have followed my page for a while, thankyou. You are exactly the women I hoped to attract when I began and I have felt your support so strongly.

If you are new, welcome. You are in a safe place on social media.

Help me make it safer and spread the love farther.

It will create ripple effects that will have so much power.

Trust me.

So, we are here to support each other in the dark times, laugh in the good times, encourage in the sad times and guide through the confusing times.

I became very brave thanks to your support, I even shared my eldest’s son Autism diagnosis and you were all so wonderful. I wont forget that.

Thank you.

Let’s be the change we want to see ladies, right here, right now.

We got this.

Donna Ashworth

Image credit: Moon Sisters

And you are still here to tell the tale, I take my hat off to you my friend.

You are a bloody warrior.

To pull yourself out of a place so deep, so dark, that the only available option is to choose oblivion, is a feat the majority of us will never quite understand.

You are a hero.

A hero because you saved a life.

Your own life.

You fought a battle, you won…If you were a soldier, a medal is what you would receive.

So I want to take some time out to praise you for the strength you found in the final hour, the strength to stay alive no matter how suffocating the pain was.

If you were once where Caroline was, I urge you to talk. Your bravery could be the words someone hears when all other reason is drowned out.

Your story could be the lifeboat in a storm.

If we understand more, if we judge less, treat people more kindly, we will change the future for our children…

They will grow up unafraid to speak out, to break down, to fall and get up again without fear of recrimination.

Imagine that, a world where a human breaks and those around applaud them for their bravery, whilst they lend a hand to pull them back up.

Instead of treating them with caution should they somehow be tainted by their own mental health.

It’s not contagious.

It is survivable.

So, if you are here to tell the tale of a life almost lost to depression, my friend. I want to tell you how proud I am of you and how much I would love to hear about your journey.

Please talk.

I will be here for it, every day, no matter what.

Donna Ashworth

#carolineflack #bekind #suicideprevention

It’s been a few days since you passed. And yet I am still thinking about you pretty much all the time, which is strange because I didn’t know you at all, in real life.

Thoughts of you and how you felt in the final moments of your life have kept me awake the last few nights and I am trying to figure out why I am so moved by your death.

I think what is upsetting me the most, is that you must have been so sure you wanted to leave.

Your friend was clearly on suicide watch, yet the minute she left you, you took action. You took your final action. You made that final call. 

Did you flounder? Did you feel any ounce of regret? Were you scared?

I’m haunted by thoughts that you felt no one could support you enough to get you through this terrible time.

I’m haunted by the millions of people so saddened by your loss and the realisation that you did not know you were so loved by the public.

You probably read so much online abuse that you believed it.

And yet, the words flying round social media are so beautiful now.

But it’s too late.

I wish you could read them.

So, I am going to take a few things from this lesson life has taught us. And I do believe it is a lesson which many of us will heed…

From now on, I am taking my own mental health and the mental health of everyone around me seriously. I like to think I always have but now, I am all over it.

No more judging myself so harshly.

No more browsing through vacuous social media posts portraying a perfect life.

No more indulging in negativity for entertainment or the need to make small talk.

No more filtering my own life to appear better than it is.

No more sharing posts which don’t spread joy or positivity.

No more bitching about people we don’t even know.

No more assuming that friends or family are quiet because they are ‘coping’. It’s a risk too great to take.

But most importantly, seeing the heartfelt tributes you will never ever read, has convinced me to tell everyone in my life how much they mean to me, how much I love their laughter, or their sense of style, or the way they listen.

If I see something positive, I AM SAYING IT OUT LOUD, there and then.

Because we just do not know if we will ever get to tell that person and what if, WHAT IF, they went to their death never knowing all the good stuff others felt about them.

Wherever you are, I hope you are at peace and I also hope, really hope, that you can somehow see now, what you meant to so many.

And that your mistakes were not who you are.

You are the sum of all the wonderful things everyone has said about you and so much more.

Rest in peace.

Donna Ashworth, Ladies Pass It On

This mantra is all over social media today.

Sadly, it has taken the loss of a bright young life to spread this message so fast and so far but nonetheless, we mustn’t let her death be in vain…

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

What does this mean?

It means integrity. 

It means doing the right thing by everyone around you when you can.

It means refusing to dim someone else’s light to make yours shine more brightly.

It means checking on those going through a hard time.

It means running your words through filters before you speak, is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

It means standing up to people who gossip, slander or defame others.

It means sharing positive or helpful posts only; laughter at someone else’s expense is too high a price for some to pay.

It means being kind to yourself too, we learn to judge most harshly whilst talking to ourselves. 

It means being brave enough to ask for help so that others will be inspired to do the same when their hard times come.

It means telling your stories so others can see that all storms run out of rain, eventually.

So, from this day onwards, for all the souls gone too soon. Let’s do this together.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

#bekind #carolineflack

Donna Ashworth, ladiespassiton.com

Think again.

We celebrate love on this day to honour a saint who risked his life to help couples in love be together. He paid the ultimate price but to him, love was worth it.

Today we celebrate love. For him.

And let me tell you something my single friends, there is NO love more important than the love you have for yourself. It is the only relationship YOU WILL BE IN FOR A LIFETIME.

Make it count. 

Furthermore, if romance is your goal, look around you at your friendships. 

Women answer the call day or night to a friend in need, dry their tears, listen to the same story over and over again to heal broken hearts.

That is romance.

One day, you will be sitting somewhere with your partner reading a card they wrote to you,or perhaps you will be cross because they forgot or didn’t care…

But today, you have a lot to celebrate.

You my friend, are a warrior woman facing the world like a boss. That is to be celebrated.

And if you are lucky enough to have some warrior women alongside you for the ride, celebrate them too.

We are all in this together and our fierce female friendships are a beauty to behold. In fact, I would go as far as to say that no one will love you quite the way your warrior women do.

Show them some love today and whilst you’re at it, show yourself too.

#happygalentinesday

Donna Ashworth

Asking how they slept

Making a cup of tea just right

Picking up a book they’d like to read

Worrying, so much worrying

Remembering something they said that made you laugh

Listening to things that aren’t said out loud

Telling the truth, no matter how hard

Feeling stronger than you are because they believe in you

Rising above small stuff

Recognising your flaws when all you can see is theirs

Being ordinary together

Being carefree together

Making time for each other

Finding the funny in the misery

Believing in them when they cannot believe in themselves

Remembering why you fell in love

Laughing at things no one else finds funny

The smell of their skin

Showing up, every time, always show up

Accepting the ugly as well as the beauty

Sticking with them through the dark days

Reminding them there will be good days again

Love is…

Sometimes, letting go

Love is…

Not all hearts and flowers

Love is…

Love is the only thing that matters and the hardest thing to master

It’s worth it.

Donna Ashworth @ladiespassiton

Make peace with yours right now my friend, for it has toiled for many years just to keep you alive.

It has grown, weathered virus and disease, healed countless wounds and fought many unseen battles to keep your soul intact for its journey through this life.

Yes it has changed but it has been changing since the day you were born.

And it will continue to change until the day you die.

Make peace with this.

Striving against this change, is like trying to blow away the wind. Futile, pointless, misery-making.

Your body has served you well and done so with your daily hate and disapproval.

It has suffered years of daily, hourly negativity, pulsing its way from your brain to your cells…

Not good enough, not attractive enough, not perfect.

And every day you thought it wasn’t perfect, it really, truly was.

It was keeping you alive, supporting your rash decisions, counteracting your foolish mistakes, doing everything in its power to stay in the game.

For you.

Make peace with your body today, my friend, say your apologies, right your wrongs and move on with appreciation.

You are blessed.

Look around you, not everyone is so blessed.

Not every one is breathing, walking, thriving.

And whilst you are looking around, see that nobody is perfect. The way a body looks, says nothing about its strength, its longevity, its endurance.

This is not a rehearsal, this is your one shot at a life well-lived.

Make it count.

Donna Ashworth

Whether you have a mother or not, the need will always be there.

Even if you never had one, even if you don’t have any experience of that maternal love, there is a hole inside of you that perhaps, you didn’t even know you had.

A woman needs her mum, this much is true. 

So if you’re lucky enough to have a mother living, call her, listen to her, show up if she wants you, or even if she doesn’t.

Let her care, let her in, let her be a part of your life, for you, you are an enormous part of hers. 

If you no longer have a mother, be very kind to the little girl who lives within you, she is hurting. She misses her mother more than you realise.

Be kind to her and don’t be too harsh when she is lost. She doesn’t have a mother to show her the way.

For those of you who have had a mother who couldn’t love you the way you deserved, your heart is even more broken and bruised. There is nothing much in this world more painful than that.

Surround yourself with as much love as you can find in this world.

You see, a mother is the source of life, the first source of love – she is shelter, she is nurture, she is home.

Take her with you wherever you go and let her love carry on even after she has gone. It’s part of you, it’s inside your cells, your very DNA.

So, I guess she never really leaves.

If you look within, you will find her there.

Hold on to that, my friend, hold on to that.

Donna Ashworth, Ladies Pass It On

Be kind.

Right now, you could be driving beside someone, who is dealing with the worst news of their life.

Be patient.

Today, you could be waiting in line behind someone dealing with the end of a relationship, the loss of a love, the onset of a panic attack.

Be aware.

Be kind, over anything….this life is a struggle for us all but for some more than others.

We just don’t know what someone is dealing with when we lose our patience, our temper.

We just don’t know how much a kind word or a smile could go to helping that person heal.

Throw out compliments like confetti.

Spread smiles whenever you can, they are contagious.

A simple gesture can mean the world to a soul in pain.

A rude comment or a terse remark could be the straw that broke the back.

Choose wisely.

Life is short, we are all in this together.

Donna Ashworth

The telephone rang.  It was a call from his mother. He answered it and his mother told him, “Mr.  Belser died last night.  The funeral is Wednesday.”

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

“Jack, did you hear me?”

“Oh, sorry, Mom.  Yes, I heard you.  It’s been so long since I thought of him.  I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said.

“Well, he didn’t forget you.  Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing.  He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him.

“I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.

“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr.  Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said.

“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said.  “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him.  He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important.  Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word.  Jack caught the next flight to his hometown.  Mr.  Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful.  He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment.  It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.  The house was exactly as he remembered.

Every step held memories.  Every picture, every piece of furniture…Jack stopped suddenly…

“What’swrong, Jack?” his Mom asked.

“The box is gone,” he said.

“What box?” Mom asked.

“There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk.  I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside.  All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,'” Jack said.

It was gone.  Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box.  He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

“Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said.

“I better get some sleep.  I have an early flight home, Mom.”

It had been about two weeks since Mr.  Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox.  “Signature required on a package.  No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read.

Early the next day Jack went to the post office and retrieved the package.  The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago.  The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.

“Mr.  Harold Belser” it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package.  There inside was the gold box and an envelope.

Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside.

“Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett.  It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter.  His heart racing, as tears filled his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box.  There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.  Inside he found these words engraved: “Jack, Thanks for your time! — Harold Belser.”

“The thing he valued most was my time!”

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days.*

“Why?” Janet, his assistant asked.

“I need some time to spend with the people I love and say I care for,” he said.  “Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!”

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.”

Think about this.  You may not realize it, but it’s 100 percent true.

1. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

2. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.

3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

4. You mean the world to someone.

5. If not for you, someone may not be living.

6. You are special and unique.

7. Have trust sooner or later you will get what you wish for or something better.

8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.

9. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a hard look: you most likely turned your back on the world and the people who love and care for you.

10. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

12. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you’ll both be happy.

13. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

To everyone who read this just now….

*”Thanks for your time.”* 😊

Author unknown

1. It is going to knock you sideways, the love you feel for that child. I smothered you in love every day you were alive but you will still be rocked to your roots when it hits you from the other side. I would say ‘be prepared’, but nothing, nothing, will prepare you for that bolt. It’s everything.

2. You will be exhausted. Not on a level you ever felt before. And it’s going to throw you just how much one little human can take from another. Look after yourself my child. You need rest too. It’s not easy but if you don’t take time out, you won’t make it through.

3. Humour is going to save you. Many many times over the years. If you can find that humour in your partner you have won the lottery. If you can’t, find a friend who makes you laugh and see the funny side in the darkness.

4. You’re going to feel inadequate, often. You are no longer in control. Let it go. All you can do is hope that your child occasionally does the right thing in public too – enjoy the cute stuff and let the mortifying moments make you laugh, not cry. 

5. Look out for other parents along the way. You need each other. Judge them the way you’d like to be judged – not at all. We are all trying our best and if someone really isn’t then that’s the time to speak out. 

6. Your child is not an extension of you. You will see yourself and your partner in them every day and it will amaze you. But you will also see something else, something original. They brought that with them. Nurture it the most, it is who they are.

7. You are enough. Corny? True. If you love your children and care enough about them to feel you aren’t coping well enough, then you are already winning. You cannot go far wrong if love is at the forefront of your mind in all you do.

8. Listen. Life is moving at its fastest now. It will never feel like this again. The exhaustion, the schedules, the relentless tasks and questions. But you must find the time to listen to the small stuff if you want them to tell you the big stuff when they are older. The small stuff, to them, was always the big stuff.

9. Your instinct is key. Listen to your own gut. It’s connected by DNA, by billions of cells, to that little human. You have a special insight that science cannot even explain properly, yet. Take advice but your instinct wins. Period.

10. You’re going to be in pain. A lot. It’s going to hurt. When they hurt. When they are rejected. When they are detached from you and finally, when they ‘hate’ you. It is not your job to be popular, it is your job to be a parent and sometimes, that will rip you apart. Now that you are where I was back then, you will finally understand. Don’t worry, I don’t need to forgive you, I never did. And neither, my love, will you.

Donna Ashworth ©️

Today I reached my breaking point…

For a moment or two I thought, this is it, I am finally broken.

For a minute or two, I felt I couldn’t handle the load I’ve been given anymore.

It’s too heavy.

Wouldn’t it be so wonderfully tempting just to set that load down on the ground and run for the hills…

But then I remembered that I have been here before.

And I also remembered, that the best thing to do when you reach breaking point, is to yield.

Don’t break, bend.

Don’t crack, accept.

Accept that this is your load to bear and that you have this load because you can totally handle it.

Take some time to grieve for the you you used to be and remember that she is still in there somewhere. Maybe slightly changed but still there.

She is evolving not lost.

Growing not disappearing.

Today I reached my breaking point and if you were there today too, I want you to know that you are doing just fine.

I see you.

You don’t have to have all the answers my friend, sometimes, you just have to yield and carry on anyway until the sky becomes more clear and the clouds part.

If you are at your breaking point…

Don’t break, bend.

Donna Ashworth

#yield #havefaith #bend #breakingpoint #mentalhealth #womenforwomen #ladiespassiton #iseeyou #youcan

You Can’t Skip Chapters In Your Own Story…

That’s not how it works.

You have to face each page, each twist, each turn.

You have to live out each and every chapter from the start to the end.

Some of those chapters wont be pretty either. 

You see, we each get our share of good and bad in this life… though it may often seem unfairly split.

It’s really not.

We all go through ups, we all go through downs.

Some days we laugh and other days we can barely breathe for crying.

There are times when the crying feels like it will never stop, but it will.

And a new chapter will begin when it does.

But with each chapter comes a very important step in your journey. And we cant skip them, because if we did, we wouldn’t be who we are now.

And the world needs you just the way you are…

Broken

Beautiful

And a better person for it too.

You cant skip chapters in your own story my friend.

And if you care, or dare, to share your tales (the good and the ugly), you may be just the inspiration someone else desperately needs today…

So pass it down.

That’s how stories work.

Donna Ashworth

Hold Every Hug Just That Little Bit Longer…

Listen to your loved ones just a little bit harder.

Pay more attention to the small stuff, even when the to-do list is long.

Life is short my friend.

Don’t put off every invitation that scares you.

Laugh out loudly and take the high ground whenever you can.

Life is yours if only for today.

Answer the call and give them your full attention.

Write that note that’s been sitting in your mind unsent but full of love.

Life is moving faster than you know.

Hold that hand and linger with that kiss.

Say goodbyes with meaning and affection before you leave, every time.

Life is so very precious and so very vulnerable.

Seize the moment, take the chance.

Use the rainy day treasure right now, right now is the only guarantee we truly have.

Life is not forever.

Today is a gift, that’s why we call it the present.

So be present my friend…

right now.

Donna Ashworth

The World May Not like Bold Women…

But I do.

The world may not throw open its arms to those who carve their own path, tossing archaic beliefs to the wind, the wind they leave behind them as they forge bravely ahead.

But I open my arms to those warrior sisters. Thank goodness for them and their ability to tear down walls.

Where would we be without those women who went before us and screamed so that we didn’t have to?

If I had a daughter I would hope for her to be bold.

To be fierce with her dreams and her limits.

To be brave with her heart and her affections.

To be secure enough to know what is okay to accept and what is most definitely not.

To be loved enough to know that the bile of angry strangers can’t harm her. Not really.

That her foundations are strong enough to hold against the storms when they rage.

The world may not like bold women but it remembers them.

And I, for one, am grateful that they exist.

Keep being your bold selves.

You are welcome here.

Donna Ashworth

So you are aghast.

You are disgusted at the disrespect, as a young married couple blaze a new trail for a new decade and simply refuse to accept the crappy hand you have dealt them.

How very dare they stand up and say that actually, as advocates of good mental health and examples of an evolved society, we simply refuse to deal with this constant barrage of misogynous, racist and smear-tactic reporting that you have allocated to them as their ‘lot’.

They didn’t sign up to that actually.

They ‘signed up’ to take each other’s hand in marriage, to be a part of an institution with a platform to do a hell of a lot of good, which they are doing by the way.

Perhaps if you stopped criticising their every move you would see what they have achieved.

You see, it is not okay to make one woman’s journey from an entirely different background so much harder than it already is, by reporting her every move in a suspicious manner… it was going to be a tough enough ride for her already.

And don’t for one minute think you can get away with saying that you have reported fairly here…

For example, Meghan cradles her baby bump constantly because she is an ‘actress’ trying to come across as soft and maternal but Kate, on the other hand, just somehow is soft and maternal when she constantly caresses hers…. the deviousness of this suggestion is astounding.

IT IS A MASSIVE SWOLLEN PART OF YOUR BODY, CONTAINING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE – YOU WOULD WANT TO CONSTANTLY TOUCH IT TOO!

…Kate loves avocado because it helps with her morning sickness but Meghan’s love of the fruit is aiding and abetting TERRORISM. 

This was an actual story, look it up people, you will be amazed.

I could go on and on to provide examples of how you have treated both women entirely differently and how much negativity and judgement you have sewn into each and every reported word about Harry’s new wife.

And now she has had enough.

You see, we live in an age where young people are committing suicide more than ever because of the ever changing society in which we live. 

Life is more of a goldfish bowl for us all and social media has taught each and every one of us, how stressful online hatred and  bullying can be. It has impact. 

And it’s not okay.

So, wipe the shocked looks from your faces, admit that this is a direct consequence of your actions and then cast your mind back to a 12 year old boy whose mother was cruelly taken from him by the voracious and unrelenting chase of the press who watched her every move, waiting for her to do something so they could tell the world.

Was it worth it?

We lost a light we very much needed that day and Harry, he lost everything.

Let him get it back for himself and do your job the way it should be done.

Fairly.

And as for blaming it all on Meghan, we are not fooled. Harry is a man who will never forgive and forget and quite frankly, how could he.

Now take it on the chin. Your karma came good.

Yours,

The Public.

©️Donna Ashworth

Dear Meghan, For All Those Saying ‘You Knew What You Were Doing’…

when you married a Royal.

For all those saying, ‘this was her choice, she knew exactly what she was getting into.’

Remember that no one, not even you, knew exactly what you were doing and what you were getting into. 

Life has a habit of appearing extremely different from the outside looking in. Nobody knows what it feels like to have walked your path this last year or two.

It’s easy to judge what you don’t understand, right?

And you know what Meghan? It’s okay to admit that you’re not doing okay.

It’s okay to say, ‘this is too much, actually.’

One thing a human being must always, ALWAYS, be able to do – is leave. A situation, a relationship, a job…it’s your basic human right, right?

You do not have to accept anything which makes you unhappy or attacks your mental health. You do not have to put your child in any situation which causes them danger, distress or negativity.

No one seems to have noticed that you have undergone the biggest change a woman can recently.

You became a mother.

Suddenly, the world you thought you had sewn up, appears to be a very different and a much more scary place when your place a newborn baby in it.

I get it.

The fairytale doesn’t exist and you’re finding that out the hard way, so what do you do? Do you put your head down and take it on the chin because after all, this was your doing?

No…

You claim back some of the independence which got you where you were in the first place. And I’m pretty sure it’s that gumption of yours that made Harry want to marry you in the first place.

So you’re not the demure, subservient princess the world envisioned.

Neither was Diana, in the end.

You came with a past and you also came with a future.

Do it your way.

Look after your boys, look after yourself and let the world shout its disapproval to the wind you will be leaving behind you as you fly…

Girl, you totally got this.

Donna Ashworth

Dear Harry, I am a mum of 2 boys…

My eldest is the same age as you were when your beautiful Mummy died. I still cannot watch the footage of what you were forced to endure that day, it knocks the breath out of my lungs even now to imagine the depth of your pain.

There is no doubt in my mind that you carry this trauma with you, every day.

And now you have found love for yourself and you understand exactly the extent of a parent’s love and how enduring that is.

There is no doubt in my mind that this makes you even more angry for the great love you lost so young.

So I want you to know that as a Mum, I get it.

It is not your responsibility to carry on the title you were born to.

You didn’t choose it.

It is not your responsibility to accept that the world will watch your every move.

You didn’t choose that either.

You don’t have to accept the daily hounding, the criticism and the circus that surrounds you.

None of it is your doing.

Your mum wanted nothing more than to be loved and to see you both happy. We saw her as ours but she was only ever yours, it must frustrate you to share her memory with the world. 

The truth is that you and your brother are the only people who deserve to grieve her so.

But share you must and that is hard.

It is obvious that you don’t have the answers now, that you crave a brave new world and you’re boldly going there regardless. It is evident that you are both hurt and don’t know where to turn.

I am sure she would be proud of you. I’m also sure that she would remind you that where you came from is important too, that your life is a blessing and if you step back for a while, you will no doubt see how blessed you are.

In time.

So, take that time. Make mistakes, be human. 

The world will still be here waiting if you do decide to return.

Yes a million eyes will be watching you, berating you and waiting for you to fall, but that is nothing new to you.

Ignore them and forge your own path.

We will just have to catch up. 

This is your life and you know only too well, that it can be breathtakingly short. So do what you feel you must, to build a life you can be happy in…

But perhaps, bear in mind that when you lost your Mother that day, a nation took you into their hearts and have loved you ever since.

You may not see it now but you, my boy, are loved.

You really, truly are.

Donna Ashworth

©️ Ladiespassiton.com

My Child, I’m Not Here To Teach You

I’m here to love you.

Love will teach you.

From the moment you came into being I have known that my all-consuming love would shelter you till the day I leave this planet, and even after that.

When it comes to being a parent, I don’t have all the answers, no one does… and anyway, the rules change daily. 

There are times when I don’t know if I am doing you right or wrong.

So on those days, when the fear is high, I simply let my love for you rise to the top and remind myself that loving another human, unconditionally, is the very best thing any of us can do.

I remind myself that if my love for you is always the answer, then I can’t go far wrong. 

My little one. My precious precious child. No matter what age, what day, what disaster, you are loved.

I exist to love you, to protect you, to hold your hand when you need my touch.

I’m not here to teach you. I’m still learning myself.

I’m here to love you.

Love will teach you.

All by itself.

Donna Ashworth LPIO 2020

When everyone is setting new goals, laying down new ground rules and striving to become a better version of themselves, some of us are fighting to survive each day…

You see, December is a month of giving, and some of us come January, are completely and utterly spent.

A month of remembering everyone, and remembering absolutely everything. 

A month of including everyone and of reaching out to each and every person we have ever known.

A month of reaching breaking point every day trying to have fun, to be the ultimate hostess, to be the perfect guest.

A month of stretching ourselves financially, emotionally and of letting our boundaries be breached by many… in the spirit of the season.

And then January hits and bam… before we can even begin the arduous task of clearing away the festivities, we are expected to jump on the ‘new year, new you’ bandwagon and transform ourselves entirely.

For some of us this is just too much.

January is the darkest and most depressing month of the year and for many sensitive souls, the barrage of ‘advice’ on how we ‘should’ be living, is just too much.

So perhaps this is a safe place to say that maybe it’s okay to take a week or two to recover and to just be kind to ourselves before we start demanding that we be better.

And for those of us who really do fall low in the darkest month of the year. For those of us who have given too much and to whom the future looks bleak – perhaps this is the right place to say that you are absolutely fine the way you are.

Take some time to breathe.

Take some time to not think about anything much at all except breathing in and breathing out.

Take some time to build back up, not tear your yourself down.

For many, this month is a mountain that looks unclimbable.

Be kind, my friends. Always 

This year, the best that I can say, is that I made it through. 

I stayed hopeful, I mended my broken pieces each time they shattered.

I took deep breaths, pushed my shoulders back and faced my worries head on.

I spent a lot of time reeling from the punches life threw at me… but I always came back fighting.

This year I survived, next year, I shall live.

I shall make plans for me. 

I shall tick items from my bucket list and allocate time to just ‘be’.

I shall stop to smell the roses and breathe in the joys that come for free.

Next year, I shall set goals and see them through, if I want to.

If not, I shall do something else.

And that will be perfectly okay.

Because something I learned in the last 12 months is that we all get our share of ups and downs on this rollercoaster.

And none of us can ever know when the highs and lows are due.

So we must live.

Right here, right now.

So raise a glass to your survival my friend, it’s time for you to live too.

Let’s live 2020 together.

Donna Ashworth

Last week I found out my child has Autism.

And now I need to say it out loud. Really loudly, until the sound of the word no longer takes my breath away.

I mean, I’m a mother, deep down I knew. Of course I did. But I was often convinced, by myself and others, ( for the sake of an easier life), that he would ‘grow out of it’, ‘was just quirky’, ‘struggled with his emotions’.

Then he began to become sad, deeply sad. The pressure of masking his condition every day to fit in was pulling him apart at the seams and weighing heavily on his little 11 year old shoulders.

The shame at his outbursts and his inability to be like everyone else for the entire school day was chipping away consistently at his self-worth, until there was little left.

And I just couldn’t see that happen.

So here we are, my child has Autism. He is Autistic. I am told that this is the right word to use and that nowadays it is all one umbrella – yet no two children with this condition are ever the same. A huge bright and colourful umbrella covering thousands of beautiful little heads and sheltering them from the worst of the rain….that’s how I choose to see it anyway.

They are like unique little jewels in our society. Bright young minds who see things very differently, who process things very differently, who cope with things very differently.

To them, it is our world which is mad. The way we do things is alien to them, yet they push their little bodies to follow suit anyway. They channel every ounce of energy they have into focusing, sitting still and following rules which make no sense whatsoever in a world full of contradictions and triggers.

So now, I am learning. I am writing about it, sharing it – because this is how I cope. This is how I keep my mind healthy.

I have tortured myself duly with a movie-like montage of every moment I have parented him badly. Shamed him. Let him down. I have viewed each little video clip and filed it away under lesson learned, each and every one of them bringing new waves of pain like a million tiny daggers to my heart.

I have almost begun to forgive myself but that will take time.

It will also take time to build up my little one’s broken self-esteem. But I’m so here for that job. I have never been more here for anything in my life.

And nothing will stop me. Nothing.

Last week I found out my child has Autism, and my world spun quite wildly on its axis. It has landed somewhere south of where it used to be but thats okay.

This is my new place to be.

You’re Going To Come Across A Lot Of Very Stressed People This Week…

And some of them will be at breaking point.

This season comes with so much joy and light but for many, it is a time of real darkness and pain.

For those grieving the loss of a loved one; that celebration with one new and very empty chair, is just too much for their battered heart to bear.

For those struggling financially, the need to provide a festive affair can be a suffocating hand on their throat in the night.

For those whose anxiety is strong and unyielding, the multiple celebrations, get-togethers and high expectations are a sensory overload too far.

Then there are those who are achingly, agonisingly alone.

You are going to come across a lot of very stressed people this week, so be kind.

Smile, say something nice, let someone cut in line, if you have money, give it when opportunity arises. If you don’t, find a way to help a soul in need.

You just never know, if your little gesture of kindness will be the star they follow to safety.

Christmas is a time for goodwill to all.

That what really matters.

Donna Ashworth, Ladies Pass It On

This Year Has Been Hard…

I’m not going to lie.

It has whipped the rug from under me more than once – and a few times, I felt I couldn’t go on anymore.

This year has been hard.

But I’m here.

I’m broken but I’m not out yet. 

I can feel my pieces coming back together, crooked, sure. Different? Definitely.

But perhaps, that little but stronger. 

So I’m going to let this year go…and wait, with an open mind for 2020.

Thank you to all who listened, cared and supported me through the difficult days.

Everyone else, I wish you well. 

Life is not easy for any of us.

This year has been pretty damn hard my friend.

But I made it and so did you.

Cheers to that.

How many times have you thought, I can’t get through this.

How many times have you thought, I’m not strong enough to win the battle this time.

How many times have you felt so broken, you thought the sun would never rise again.

And yet, here you are.

Here you are, through it. 

Here you are, on the other side of that particular mountain, facing a new mountain this time and feeling overwhelmed.

My friend, the next time you think to yourself that you cannot do this, remember that you have in fact done this, or worse, many many times before. 

You are a warrior.

And today is not the day that you give in.

And tomorrow, the sun will rise again.

Donna Ashworth

Yes You have Been Broken

But you won’t stay shattered for ever my friend.

You will scrape those little shards of your soul from the floor and pull them all together to rebuild, better than before.

Stronger.

But this time there will be cracks…

and that is how the light will get in.

And you may not keep all the little pieces of you that fell.

You may find that you are different now.

You may find that some of them are no longer needed.

And that’s okay.

Yes you have been broken my friend.

But you are more beautiful than you have ever been.

Donna Ashworth
2019

To My No Fuss Friend

Thank you for understanding that life is faster than I am…

That, in my mind’s eye, we would hang out so much more often.

Thank you, for not passive-aggressively berating me, each time I fail to return a text or answer a call…and for always allowing me to just dive in and pick up where we left off, with a hug, a laugh and some no-fuss friendship.

Thank you for understanding that I am barely balancing on this tightrope of ‘adulthood’ and when I wobble, thank you for always catching me – or at least laughing at me whilst I am on the floor – that helps too.

It’s because of you that our bond will never be broken. 

Instead of worrying if I have offended you whilst drowning under a pile of life’s admin, I can send my good thoughts out into the ether and know, that you know, I got your back.

And when we do make it into each other’s worlds, it is so very much worth the wait.

Thank you my no fuss friend. From the bottom of my heart.

Thank you.

No matter how much someone stamps all over your heart, your loyalty, your kind nature. 

Never, ever let them make you ugly.

For beauty comes from within my friend and nothing, nothing, turns a soul more sour than bitterness, hate and regret.

Let them throw whatever they want at you, if they must, then retreat. 

Step away.

Learn a lesson.

Don’t go back for more, your time is far too precious for that.

Instead, use your time to heal, to process the pain, to move on. 

A little stronger, somewhat more guarded – but never bitter.

Your beauty will shine on and attract like-minded souls into your orbit and the more you rally against the hate and the bitterness, the less those people will come into your life.

You are a mirror that they cannot bear to look into, you see.

A beautiful soul. Flawed, as are we all. But beautiful still.

Don’t let them make you ugly my friend. The world is ugly enough.

You Can Do Anything But Not Everything

You can do anything but not everything.

You can be happy and still so sad.

You can want to spend time with your friends but need to stay home alone.

You can be kind and feel wronged.

You can be tired but endlessly, helplessly awake

You can be you, whilst still trying to please too many. Far too many.

You can be all things and nothing at once.

But most of all, you can do anything.

But not everything.

Remember that my friend, remember that.

#mentalhealthawareness #worldmentalhealthday 

Donna Ashworth

When someone is broken, don’t try to fix them (you can’t). Show them instead, how the cracks in their armour let the light shine through. That’s how it gets in.

When someone is grieving, don’t attempt to fill the hole in their heart (you can’t). Instead, remind them why the love they had for that person must live on within them. It is infinite.

When someone is hurting, don’t try to heal their pain (you can’t). Remind them instead, how laughter, love and sunshine mend the spirit. The medicine we need is inside us already, dig for it.

When someone is too sad for this busy, crazy life. Don’t try to turn their sadness around (you can’t). Just show up, sit with them and let them know they are accepted no matter what (you can).

Sometimes, that is all we need.

Donna Ashworth

Listen very closely to those little feelings that start in your tummy and try very hard to be heard. 

They are the voices of those who watch you. 

They are your guardian angels doing their thing.

Pay attention to the hairs that bristle on the back of your neck. 

For when that happens, you have been touched from above by someone who has your very best interests at heart. What is it they heard that made them connect? Go back, find it.

Listen

If you are struggling to make a decision my friend. Say it out loud as though you were talking to a loved one and wait for the feelings that follow.

You are never, ever alone.

You are always being guided in everything that you do.

Likewise, when your instincts are screaming at you to leave, to free yourself, to move on to better things.

Listen hard.

They are right.

Pay close attention to the voices deep inside.

They are your guardian angels.

Listen.

Donna Ashworth

When your head hits the pillow tonight

Remember the smiles of the day, the laughter, the warm words…

And let everything else go.

Put the lessons learned in a file marked ‘done’ and give yourself a pat on the back for the things you got right.

Leave the stresses of tomorrow where they belong – tomorrow.

Leave the stresses of today where they belong too.

And let the night take away the heavy weight from your shoulders.

Let it go.

Let yourself be safe.

Let yourself be still.

Let yourself be at rest.

When your head hits the pillow tonight my friend, let sleep come and let your soul be.

You did enough today.

We are all just doing our best with no rule book, in a game with no referee and no half-time. None of us are getting it right, we are all just winging it. We are all just as scared, just as weary.

When your head hits the pillow tonight my friend, close your eyes and remember, you are worthy.

Donna Ashworth

.

Maybe they’re not being selfish.

Maybe they’re struggling to cope.

Perhaps, the reason they didn’t show up, was not because you’re not important enough, but because they felt they were not important enough.

Perhaps the reason they didn’t reply, is because they are way too deep, in the depths of a suffocating depression that they cannot bring themselves to talk about.

Perhaps the reason they don’t get involved, is because their anxiety is squeezing the life out of them and it is all they can do to get through the days.

Perhaps, when they do show up and they do reply and they do get involved, it is because they managed, for that one moment, to muster up the superhuman strength it takes to win out against their demons.

It is all very well to say that mental health matters but if we are going to shame, shun or reject those who don’t behave the way we want them to, without questioning whether or not they are alright, then we are part of the problem.

So, the next time they don’t show up.

Reach out.

Be supportive.

It may be the life-line they so desperately need.

Donna Ashworth

June 2019

Ladies Pass It On