Before the virus came along
Life was fast and ruthless
And the world spun like a wheel
Before the virus came along
People were busy and breathless
Their lives lacked simple things
When the virus came along
The wheel was forced to brake
Momentum lost its power
And people came to see
That they were not the drivers
That bigger wheels were turning
When the virus left again
The world was green and breathing
The rested people knew
Now the memory is just that
Time is much the healer
But something lingered longer
The virus shaped the world
And made the people grateful
For peace and touch and freedom
By Donna Ashworth
1. We don’t need nearly as much as have come to believe.
2. A little goes a long way.
3. We are kinder than we thought.
4. When push comes to shove, we want to share our last slice.
5.We are not in control.
6. But we each make a difference.
7. The world is smaller than we realise.
8. We don’t appreciate our life enough.
9. We are living in a world of convenience.
10. This convenience is killing our planet.
11. We don’t need to fly across the world to make decisions for our businesses.
12. We can be together even when apart.
13. We are surrounded by heroes.
14. Not all of our friends will be there for us.
15. Some new friends will appear in the unlikeliest places.
16. Differences disappear in a crisis
17. Our elders are very precious indeed.
18. We really should treat each day as a blessing.
19. And live life to the full when we can.
20. We are not invincible.
21. But we are stronger than we know,
22. Life is about adapting to change.
23. Teaching children is a calling and a skill.
24. But it’s more important to keep them calm.
25. We never know what is waiting just around the corner.
26. We are a tiny piece in a very large puzzle.
27. But each of us is capable of so much.
28. When darkness comes, there are always people helping
29. Look for them, join them.
30. We are better together, even when apart.
Please credit Ladies Pass It On
History will remember when the world stopped
And the flights stayed on the ground.
And the cars parked in the street.
And the trains didn’t run.
History will remember when the schools closed
And the children stayed indoors
And the medical staff walked towards the fire
And they didn’t run.
History will remember when the people sang
On their balconies, in isolation
But so very much together
In courage and song.
History will remember when the people fought
For their old and their weak
Protected the vulnerable
By doing nothing at all.
History will remember when the virus left
And the houses opened
And the people came out
And hugged and kissed
And started again
Kinder than before.
Copyright Donna Ashworth 2020 ©
It just looks the same.
People are crippled with anxiety, fear and the need to protect their loved ones.
It may come across as selfishness, stupidity or worse.
But it is just humanity.
Flawed, afraid, in panic.
In a week or so, no one will be buying toilet paper, everyone will be at home and realising that solidarity is key, but right now, when information is in overload yet no help seems present, buying toilet paper seems like a comfort.
Let them buy their paper. Encourage them to share with anyone in their vicinity who has none.
People are not stupid, they are afraid and they are suspicious of the government and their intentions.
And why wouldn’t they be, we have been let down so many times before
Nobody knows what to do, so they do what every one else is doing.
Anger and abuse won’t help.
Just try to understand and let’s wait this out in peace.
We are all in this together
The older I get, the more I realise that all this talk of women having ‘gone mad’ is actually just women waking up one day, smelling the coffee and feeling fricking furious…
Furious that they twisted themselves like a pretzel all these years trying to conform to what others wanted them to be.
Furious that they didn’t say no more, or more to the point, that they didn’t say f**k you more.
Furious that they didn’t say yes more, that they didn’t feel they could put themselves first.
Furious that their feelings, their emotions and their desires were branded as ‘hormonal’ all these years, as a lame excuse to fob them off and not face up to bad behaviour.
And no, this is not the menopause.
This is called awakening.
The older I get the more I realise that no, women are not going mad.
In fact, they are becoming very very sane indeed.
You know what, I make mistakes. In fact I make plenty of mistakes – some of them so cringingly embarrassing, that it physically aches to recall them. My brain likes to take me there some nights when I can’t sleep.
But this is me, I am just a woman.
I try my best.
I really do try my best – and you know what?
That in itself is worth so much more than all the successes put together. The strength is in the trying…in the admitting when you’re wrong, admitting when you messed up and then getting up again the next day and trying even harder.
‘Some days she doesn’t know how she will do it, but every single day it gets done.’
If that is all that can be said about me then that’s enough.
But if there was one more thing I would like to be known for, it would be the good intentions in my heart.
I may not always get it right but my intentions are always good – and kind – and loving.
And you know what, that’s enough.
It really is.
This is me…
To all whose storms rage within, even when the sea is calm.
To all for whom life is challenging and ease comes with great difficulty.
To all those who wonder why each hill seems so steep when others scale them effortlessly.
I feel you.
If you are an over-thinker, an under-enjoyer and a worrier, life can be a struggle.
If you were born facing against the wind and you just don’t know how to be swept along like everyone else.
I feel you.
If you often catch yourself. wondering how, HOW, others seem to breeze through their days – even when times are tough – I feel you.
Switching off an over-active imagination is a skill which is hard won. Learning to ‘go with the flow’ and ‘take each day as it comes’ can seem as unrealistic as learning to fly.
But unlike flying, it is possible.
The first step is to acknowledge that you feel detached and at odds with the world, that your sunny disposition is a tiring act and that your fears engulf you when you least expect it.
Admit it, accept it, embrace it.
It is who you are but it need not define you.
The sensitive heart and the deep soul of you are wonderful qualities to be proud of.
Go easy on yourself, your load is heavy enough, but with each new day, try to chip away at the fear and the worry bit by bit.
It is there to protect you, not to stop you.
You deserve a calm sea every now and again, you have weathered enough storms.
To all for whom life can feel like the highest mountain, remember you are only supposed to climb it, not carry it – and you are supposed to enjoy the view at every step.
It’s really something.
Love is…not all hearts and flowers and lingering soft kisses.
Sometimes love can be pretty ugly.
It can be found in the frustrated sigh as you roll your eyes and clench your fists in exasperation, anger sometimes. Living with someone who isn’t controlled by you, who doesn’t do exactly what you want them to – can be tough. It can be infuriating. But if you are doing it, day in day out – forgiving the foibles as best you can, wiping the slate (almost) clean and accepting each other anyway – that’s love you guys.
Love is the exhausted partner holding a hand in a hospital bed, hour after hour, whatever it takes.
Love is the eyes that don’t see lines or age or the ravages of time, they only see the soul.
Love is the stories you share and the memories you made.
Love is acceptance.
It’s finding someone who sees in you what you really fail to see in yourself.
Love is not all romance and whispered sweet nothings…in fact, it’s rarely that.
It’s in the showing up, the putting up and the helping out.
It’s in the everyday.
It’s in the every moment.
Love…it’s not always pretty but it’s always beautiful.
LADIES WITH IPHONES…
DID YOU KNOW THAT PRESSING YOUR SIDE BUTTON 5 TIMES BRINGS UP AN EMERGENCY SOS SCREEN?
This information could save a life, please read and pass it on.
Here’s how it works
When you make a call with SOS, your iPhone automatically calls the local emergency number. In some countries and regions, you might need to choose the service that you need. For example, in China you can choose police, fire, or ambulance.
You can also add emergency contacts. After an emergency call ends, your iPhone alerts your emergency contacts with a text message, unless you choose to cancel. Your iPhone sends them your current location, and, for a period of time after you enter SOS mode, it sends updates to your emergency contacts when your location changes.
Here’s how to make the call on iPhone X, iPhone 8, or iPhone 8 Plus:
1 Press and hold the side button and one of the Volume buttons until the Emergency SOS slider appears.
2 Drag the Emergency SOS slider to call emergency services. If you continue to hold down the side button and Volume button, instead of dragging the slider, a countdown begins and an alert sounds. If you hold down the buttons until the countdown ends, your iPhone automatically calls emergency services.
Here’s how to make the call on iPhone 7 or earlier:
1 Rapidly press the side button five times. The Emergency SOS slider will appear. (In India, you only need to press the button three times, then your iPhone automatically calls emergency services.)
2 Drag the Emergency SOS slider to call emergency services.
After the call ends, your iPhone sends your Emergency contacts a text message with your current location, unless you choose to cancel. If Location Services is off, it will temporarily turn on.
If your location changes, your contacts will get an update, and you’ll get a notification about 10 minutes later. To stop the updates, tap the status bar and select “Stop Sharing Emergency Location.” If you keep sharing, you’ll get a reminder to stop every 4 hours for 24 hours.
If you use the Emergency SOS shortcut, you need to enter your passcode to re-enable Touch ID, even if you don’t complete a call to emergency services.
End a call
If you started an emergency call by accident, press the Stop button, then tap Stop Calling.
Add or remove contacts
You can add emergency contacts from the Health app on your iPhone:
1 Open the Health app and tap the Medical ID tab.
2 Tap Edit, then scroll to Emergency Contacts.
3 Tap to add an emergency contact.
4 Tap a contact, then add their relationship.
5 Tap Done to save your changes.
Here’s how to remove emergency contacts:
1 Open the Health app and tap the Medical ID tab.
2 Tap Edit, then scroll to Emergency Contacts.
3 Tap next to a contact, then tap Delete.
4 Tap Done to save your changes.
You can’t set emergency services as an SOS contact.
1. Life is hard, even when it’s easy it’s hard. If it looks like everyone else is handling things better, remember that’s just how it ‘looks’, the reality is we all have our own struggles – every day. We are all spinning plates and dropping plenty. Don’t be afraid of a smash or two.
2. No matter how defeated you feel, do not give up. Give yourself the right to rest or to rethink, but always believe you will come back fighting tomorrow. Never stop believing you will come back tomorrow.
3. Someone else has achieved the things you dream of – most likely lots of people have – so why can’t you. We are all equal, never forget that – we can all rise to any challenge we decide to.
4. On your darkest days remember this: you have been through worse before, you are a champion already – look at what you have faced and look how you bounced back. Keep fighting.
5. Somebody somewhere relies on you, you may not even realise it but they do. You are someone’s inspiration, someone’s joy and someone’s ray of sunshine. You mean a lot to many. Stay strong.
6. People are flawed – and we are all broken – that’s how the light gets in. When you realise that your shattered pieces make a beautiful mosaic, a fascinatingly flawed picture of you, you will no longer fear failure.
7. Find your inspiration in everyday life – look around you. There are people on every side of you right now fighting silent battles. They are all struggling, they are all failing, they are all bouncing back – again and again. We are in this together.
8. Life is wonderful, then it’s shit, then it’s wonderful again…that’s how this cookie crumbles. Accept that the only thing you can control in this life is your own peace of mind, and you will find a safe carriage to ride this rollercoaster. Let your arms go up in the air and enjoy it.
9. There are many ways we can go wrong on this journey, but crime and deceit aside, the worst thing you can do is to try and make yourself something you are not. The fastest route to happiness is to accept and even celebrate your ‘youness’. No one else has exactly what you have inside. You are unique. Embrace it.
10. Let people in. Yes you have been hurt before but you owe it to yourself to forgive and move on. Forgetting is not necessary but moving on is essential. Trust each new person who walks into your world bringing sunshine and joy, they will not all be false, some of them will be the real deal and you will be so very glad you welcomed them with open arms.
You got this ladies, you got this…
We are here for but a short time but if you are fighting against the wind of change, it can feel like a life-sentence.
Instead of an adventure.
It should feel like a wonderful adventure.
You have been growing and changing since the day you were born, nothing new there. Embrace the changes, embrace the years, embrace the adventures and the doors that open for you.
Walk through them.
Do not go gently into the night.
Go with laughter, with spirit, with joy in your heart.
Go with the twinkle still in your eye and the humour in your heart.
Go with the excitement of the new, the memory of the old and the comfort of the circle of life.
Do not go gently into the night.
Go out with a blast, burn brightly, love fiercely, live loudly.
Do not gently into the night.
Do not go burdened either.
Release the bonds that tie you, break the chains that bind you and put down your heavy load.
You do not need it, any of it.
Do not go gently into the night, my friend. Go out in a blaze of glory.
THE NEXT TIME ANYONE
Holds you back
Puts you down
Says you can’t
Pays you less
Threatens your reputation
Look at this image and remember where you came from.
Realise just how powerful every woman on the planet actually is.
Remember who you are, how you were made. How he was made.
Lift your chin and stand your height.
Your strength comes from a very deep place inside.
The creation of all mankind in fact.
Yes you absolutely can.
Pass it on to every woman you know…
1. Say I love you often, freely and without fear. No other words matter quite as much and you can never over-speak them.
2. Turn failures into stepping stones. It’s far scarier to never have tried in the first place.
3. Accept yourself for who you are and realise we are all flawed and equally wonderfully so.
4. Refrain from judging others and also yourself. Life is easy for no one.
5. Let go more quickly, each day spent holding onto a grudge is a day wasted.
6. Speak your truths, with kindness but also with strength. Swallowing emotion is bad for your health in so many ways.
7. Take chances, risks even… what if you fall? Oh my dear but what if you fly…
8. Take things less seriously, if it won’t matter in 5 years do not give it 5 minutes of your peace.
9. If you dare to dream it, dare to do it. Life is an adventure waiting on you to simply show up.
10. Live for what makes your heart sing, love those who build you up and ignore those who bring you down.
Lastly, not believing in yourself is a human’s biggest barrier in this life. Whatever it is that you think you cannot do remember that someone else has already done it, somewhere at some time – so why not you?
Pass It On…the time is now.
1. He was so often afraid and yet so very brave.
2. He was always worried he’d fail to provide for you.
3. He struggled to show you just how deep his love was.
4. He never knew the right things to say.
5. He rarely knew the right thing to do.
6. He always feared you’d grow up and not need him anymore.
7. He wished every day he was a better man, for you.
8. He would sacrifice himself in a minute, to save you.
9. He often went without, so you would not.
10. He still longs for the days when your little body fitted on his shoulders.
He would do it all again in a heartbeat.
1. You made her cry, a lot.
2. It hurt, a lot.
3. She was always afraid.
4. She watched you sleep, often exhausted herself.
5. She wished she could change the world for you.
6. She wanted you to feel joy, every day.
7. She carried you for far longer than nine months.
8. It broke her heart every time you cried.
9. She put you first, every minute of every day.
10. She would do it all again.
1. Make your bed every day, even if it’s right before you get in it.
2. Don’t worry about holey underwear… if you’re ever in an accident, it’s the least thing anyone cares about.
3. Travel light through life. Keep only what you need.
4. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt. It’s also okay to smash (some) things; but, wash your face, clean your mess, and get up off the floor when you’re done. You don’t belong down there.
5. If you’re going to curse, be clever. If you’re going to curse in public, know your audience.
6. Seek out the people and places that resonate with your soul.
7. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
8. 5-second rule. It’s just dirt. There are worse things in a fast food cheeseburger.
9. You are a woman, you do not NEED a man!!
10. Happiness is not a permanent state. Wholeness is. Don’t confuse the two.
11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack your bag.
12. Never walk through an alley alone.
13. Be less sugar, more spice, and only as nice as you’re able to without compromising yourself.
14. Can’t is a cop-out. Don’t want to is another thing…your call.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. Be your own hero.
16. If you can’t smile with your eyes, don’t smile. Insincerity is nothing to aspire to.
17. Never lie to yourself.
18. Your body, your rules.
19. If you have an opinion, you better know why.
20. Practice your passions.
21. Ask for what you want. The worst thing they can say is no.
22. Wish on stars and dandelions, then get to work to make them happen.
23. Stay as sweet as you are.
24. Fall in love often. Particularly with ideas, art, music, literature, food and far-off places.
25. Fall hard and forever in love with nothing but yourself.
27. Reserve “I’m sorry” for when you truly are.
28. Naps are for grown-ups, too.
29. Question everything, except your own intuition.
30. You have enough. You are enough.
31. You are amazing! Don’t let anyone ever make you feel you are not. If someone does….walk away. You deserve better.
32. No matter where you are, you can always come home.
33. Be happy and remember your roots, family is EVERYTHING.
34. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
35. No one will ever love you more than I do ❤
36. Be kind; treat others how you would like them to treat you
37. If in doubt, remember whose daughter you are and straighten your crown.
Author unknown: if you find out who wrote this, please tell me. I have searched far and wide
Never forget how loved you are.
From the moment, the very moment, I set eyes on you …and in fact long before even then, I loved you with a fierceness that shocked me to the core.
I watched over you day and night, never missing a tear or a whimper, always letting you know I was there.
And I always will be.
Just because I can no longer call you or hold you, doesn’t mean that my love won’t still be just as strong… when I am gone.
Oh my darling it will be.
You see, my love is in every cell of your body, in every drop of your blood. It is in every memory and every single strand of hair. It is in your soul, your heart and your spirit.
It is all-consuming and omnipotent and it will not pass with my body.
It will live on with you and flow forever into those you love.
Love doesn’t die you see.
Take the love I have for you and sprinkle it all over the world, for there is no end to it.
When I am gone, my darling child…never forget how loved you are.
Can feel like the loneliest place on the planet.
The numbness as you watch the sparkle and the festivities around you…Where there was once a glow of excitement, there is now an emptiness so deep, it hurts to swallow.
The no-man’s land you find yourself in by default; not knowing whether to sing, cry, socialise or hibernate.
There is no rule-book on how to survive ‘The Most Wonderful Time of The Year’, when nothing at all feels wonderful and a part of your heart is missing.
When there is a hole in your life so wide you fear you will never feel warm or safe again.
How do you gather together and celebrate when there feels like nothing to raise a glass to? How do you gather up the courage to face the empty place at a the table or the absence on the gift list.
Or at least you don’t have to.
Everyone deals with loss differently.
Each member of each family will behave as their heart allows them.
Some will want to talk about their pain, gather together with loved ones and toast to the one who is missing. This will bring them a little comfort.
Others will retreat into themselves until they can safely qualify the agony they are experiencing. They will run away, catch a plane, avoid the holiday and the traditions and hide from the memories that tear at their breath with icy fingers.
There is no right and no wrong.
One thing we all should do, if we can, is to allow everyone to take it at their own pace. To retreat if they must, to talk if they need to. To scream, shout and cry if that eases their sorrow.
We must try to remember that grief is the price we pay for love, the stronger the love, the deeper the grief.
They say that grief is simply love with no place to go, and if that is true then perhaps some comfort can be gleamed from channeling even more love into those you still are blessed to be with.
Shower them with not only your love, but the love the person you are missing would want to bring, if they could.
Love, on their behalf.
If you can manage it, tell their stories too. Honour the traditions they upheld.
A life well lived is a life worth remembering and when the time is right and the pain is slightly less, a life worth celebrating.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself if you are facing this festive season without someone.
Your heart is broken and like a broken bone it will take time to work properly again.
But it will.
Let it rest.
Words: Donna Ashworth
Ladies Pass It On
Every now and then, the news delivers up a story so horrifyingly sad that I feel like the wind has been kicked out of me.
When this happens, a cold dread begins to seep through my veins and that familiar feeling of despair claws at my skin, as I struggle to wonder how this wonderful world can host such cruelty and evil within.
Normally, it is a tale of child abuse so sickening that my heart aches, physically aches: for all the scared and lonely children in the world, who aren’t loved and protected the way they deserve to be. The story eats my peace and I no longer need food or sleep, so vivid is the pain.
On one particular occasion, the story was so bad, and so close to me having given birth to my first child, that I sank very deeply into a truly miserable place. I couldn’t see a way in which I could ever harden my heart to the agony around me; couldn’t everyone else see how much suffering there is? How do they simply get on with their day having witnessed such terrors?
On that day, my mum gave me a piece of advice which I believe saved me.
“Make your bubble beautiful”, she said…
“Create a life so filled with love and kindness, that beautiful humans will rise from it and in turn make more beautiful humans who will then make more beautiful humans. Think of how many people you can raise in love throughout the generations to come. The strength of that humanity.
Think also, about the people you will touch with your beautiful bubble; the inspiration you will give to those around you, the example you will set. It will touch many lives and infiltrate many dark places.
You see, you cannot help everyone in the world but you can make sure your bubble is loving, peaceful and inspirational. That will directly affect your family, your extended family and everyone you meet – even in some small way. It has weight. It will matter. It will spread.
Do what you can to help others when the opportunity presents itself and never believe that you cannot make a difference.
The difference is made every day by the way you love and raise your children and the values you instil in them.”
I cannot tell you how much comfort this gives me in dark times, when the world is reeling from one horror story to the next and the feeling of uselessness abounds.
We can all make sure our own bubbles are safe. And loving. And kind. And beautiful.
It will matter.
It will make a difference.
It will spread.
Please pass it on ladies, it may bring a little comfort and hope to the world’s ‘sensitive souls’ who need it more than you might realise…
I WONDER IF YOU KNEW
Every time an ambulance passes me by, I feel a cold shiver run down my spine.
And I wonder who you are?
What has happened to you?
Did you know you were about to fall, crash, be hit?
Were you expecting today to turn out like this, or was it a crushing bolt out of the blue?
Are you going to be okay? Is your life changed forever? Or has the unthinkable happened?
Did you say the words you needed to say before they left you this morning? Before you left them?
I wonder about the web of people the news will affect.
The family, the friends, the colleagues. A web so intricate and wide-spread.
I wonder how many days/lives are about to be ruined with a phone call. How many hearts will be broken.
I wonder too how the paramedics cope with what they see every day. The sadness they must deal with.
And then I breathe in life, remember to be grateful for all that I have, for every breathe I take.
And I move on.
Silently sending out a prayer to you, whoever you are.
I wonder if you knew.
Once upon a time there was a girl named (insert your own name here).
(Your name) spent many many years trying to be everything to everyone, trying to be perfect, trying to be normal.
She almost drove herself to the brink trying to please everyone and never quite matching up.
Trying to ‘fit in’ when the rules of what you need to be, are constantly changing.
One day (your name) woke up, literally, woke up.
With the startling realisation that, ‘No! It is not supposed to be this way! I am supposed to be myself, blaze my own trail in this life! The time that I am spending, trying – and failing – to please everyone, should be spent living, and laughing, and loving those who accept me just the way I am.”
From that day forward, (your name) was a much happier individual who laughed a lot and who felt at peace when the day was over and sleep beckoned. She didn’t worry herself sick all night about the next day and how she would make it through. She welcomed it with open arms because when you are not judging yourself, no one else’s judgement matters
Be like (your name).
Wake up, earlier rather than later.
There is a whole life out there waiting for you….
YOUR CHILD IS NOT AN EXTENSION OF YOU
This is perhaps the hardest aspect of parenting for me.
Yes, our children are a wonderful cocktail-shaker mix of our genetics. That is plain to see.
But their personalities?
They are for the large part, conditioned, but what’s left-over – it’s all them.
They are born with a soul, just like we all are. And with that soul comes a character. Science cannot explain this. It is just part of life’s wonderful mystery.
We cannot really change a child to be more like us, or more like we want them to be. We can lead them, guide them and mould them to a degree, but we must allow for the part of them that we may not recognise, or even understand.
Sometimes, this is a wonderful thing. When amazing little humans somehow spring from the toughest of upbringings.
Sometimes, it is a worry. When destructive characters emerge from a healthy, loving home.
Either way, it is not fully under our control.
We hear parents saying ‘Oh he gets that from me.’ The reality is that he has learned it.
It has not come from within him.
In order to allow what is within him to really blossom, he will need space. Some time to be. Some freedom to find his groove in this life.
So, the next time you feel vexed that your child is behaving in a way that ‘you just don’t know where he gets it from.’
He gets it from himself.
And he needs help to work it out.
Even if you have to get help so you can better understand that.
Ladies, Pass It On.
LIFE LESSONS TO PASS TO OUR TEENS
Sadly, we tend to learn the really good stuff the hard way in this life. If just one young person reads and digests any of this, it will be worth it…
IF IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT IS
Trust your instincts, or if you have none at that moment, trust your parent’s instincts. We have all been down the ‘I just didn’t see it coming road’. That said, cynicism is a nasty habit but forewarned is forearmed. Open your mind and your ears when something seems just a little too easy and shiny. The best things take a bit of hard work and determination.
THE FIRST LOVE IS NOT THE DEEPEST
It feels like it at the time, but your first love is most likely just a practice run for your heart. Don’t get so wrapped up in it that you can’t see the big picture of your wonderful life ahead. Your soulmate comes at the right time. You will look back and see the difference.
YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW
You may think you know it all, but you don’t. And you’re not supposed to. You’re supposed to be learning – every minute of every day. Living and learning and falling and flying. This is your time to dip your toe into the big wide world, keep your eyes peeled and your brain switched on. You can learn some pretty awesome stuff from the ‘elders’ you meet along the way. Don’t let arrogance keep you from hearing it all.
NOT EVERYONE CAN BE TRUSTED
Learning to spot them is hard, it takes practice, you will get it wrong – a lot. If you have an honest heart it’s really difficult to recognise someone who doesn’t. You need advice. Do a bit of digging, ask for some opinions – don’t give your trust away too readily. It has to be earned and the right people will understand that.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Time heals; give time, the time it needs, to do it’s work. Try to let go of the past or the things that hold you down and let time do the healing. It won’t always hurt this badly, you won’t always feel this scared or alone. Everything is temporary and this too, shall pass. Hang on in there with hope, and hold on to any little sparks of excitement, love or laughter you may find – they are your life-jackets on this choppy sea.
YOUR PARENTS ARE WAITING
One day you will realise that they have been waiting years and years for you to come back to them. Not physically necessarily, but emotionally. Your hormones and your emotions have been whirling around inside you, since the day you hit puberty, and they have been patiently sitting it out. Waiting on the day you are no longer humiliated or repulsed by their very presence. One day, when you have kids, this will hit you in the heart like a tonne of bricks.
Be kind, call them, visit and let them worry about you – it’s their job. It will be yours one day too.
Ladies, Pass It On…
THE BAD HABITS OF UNHAPPY PEOPLE
Happiness, we all want it. We all chase it – mostly in the wrong places.
Has it ever occurred to you however, that your daily habits could be the root cause of your unhappiness as opposed to bad luck/bad choices/bad health etc?
See if you can spot yourself, or anyone you know, in this list and make a move to stamping it out, right here, right now…
If you are wired up to look for ‘faults’ and constantly point out flaws in yourself and others then you are seriously holding back the happy in your life. Start by ‘watching’ yourself as though you were on TV and catch yourself in the act. You will be amazed at how often you criticise and throw shade. Turn it around instantly and look for a positive to wipe it out. Repeat daily.
Likewise, if your day starts off with a series of ‘Oh, I am so exhausted’, ‘Look at the horrible rain!’ and so forth, you’re setting yourself up for a very blue day indeed. Positive affirmations, whether you really feel them or not, will stamp out this habit. Just repeat some lovely positive statements, on a loop in your mind, and the magic will happen soon enough. Trust me. It’s like a magnet for positivity, we don’t truly know why, but it is. Try it today.
Constantly comparing your life and your material assets with other people is a huge stealer of our joy. Stop it. Quite simply, just stop it. You may think the grass is greener but it really isn’t . Everyone has their good and their bad, but you may never get to see it. Decide what you want in this life and go for it. Based on what will make you and everyone you love feel happy, safe and fulfilled. Nothing else.
LIVING BEYOND MEANS
If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. Having it will not bring you happiness, it will bring you debt, which will bring you worry, which will bring you misery. Live within YOUR means and enjoy every single little thing you have.
GIVING IN TO FEAR
Fear is an instinct, we all have it. It is there to protect us – not stop us. You must feel the fear, sit with it, understand it – then go ahead and do it anyway. If you start allowing fear to dictate what you do, it’s a slippery slope into a very unfulfilling life. If you’re scared, do it afraid. The joy that will follow will amaze you.
Nobody, NOBODY, feels the horrible stomach churning wrath of a grudge, except you. The other person doesn’t know, or maybe doesn’t care. It’s only yourself you are harming. When a bad mood sinks in, we can be guilty of internally googling all of our grudges and relishing in the bitterness of them. It’s a bad habit. LET THEM GO. Forgive, don’t forget – but learn and move on, free of the cloud.
Are you guilty of playing through your past looking for things you could have done, should have done, wished you hadn’t said and so on? It is a bad habit. Your retrospective memory walks should be kept only for the good stuff. Let the bad stuff go, once you’ve extracted the lesson. When you find yourself regretting anything, find an uplifting memory to focus on instead.
The mind is a powerful tool. When you worry and focus heavily on something in your mind, you are essentially visualising the outcome you don’t want. Using your imagination for the bad? Why would you do that? Change the ending to the one you do want and visualise that instead. Send positivity to the worry and turn it around.
When you have lost someone you love…
Do not make the mistake of living in sadness, or living small to honour their absence.
You owe it to them to live even more vividly than before.
If they could reach you, they would surely say..
“Take the love you had for me and turn it into gladness,
use the love you had for me to drive away the sadness.”
Love is an energy, so powerful, so all-consuming that when the person you felt all that love for is not here, you are a vessel filled with a boundless source of power that has nowhere to go.
Use it to burn even more brightly and live even more loudly than before.
Share the love you felt for that person with all the other special people in your life, for it is limitless. There is no end to it and there never, ever should be.
If they could reach you they would surely say…
“Make my time on earth count loudly, so I’ve not lived in vain.
Use the love we shared to make more love and not more pain.”
If you are struggling to move on, to find the way to carry on. Without them.
This is it.
Use the love.
Carry them with you in all that you do, using their love as the source.
It is what they would want.
Tell their stories, mention their name, feel their love – and share it.
Do not let the pain of their loss overshadow the love that they created whilst alive.
Make them count.
Remember, grief is the price you pay for a love divine. The stronger the love, the deeper the grief but love, love will always win in the end.
Image by Henggeler
Here’s the thing…
You may think that your life would be somehow made better, or easier, if you were different, more ‘normal’, less ‘flawed’. More like your sister, your friend, that women over there who looks like she has it all together.
It’s not the case at all.
The world is missing a unique little spark of your youness, which only you can bring…
only you can do things the way you do them, think the way you do, love the way you do. It’s all your own.
Life is a rollercoaster, for us all, but living without your own self-approval is like riding without a seatbelt.
as vividly and vibrantly as you can.
as boldly and brightly as you can.
Bombard the world with your ‘you-ness.’
The challenge, you see, is to accept yourself, in a world that’s designed to make you just like everyone else.
It’s the one thing that only you can do, so you may as well do the heck out of it, right?
YOUR DAILY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH
You are unique, there is no one else, among the billions of people on this earth, who is exactly like you…marvel at that fact for one moment for it’s truly amazing.
Nobody sounds exactly like you, nobody thinks exactly like you, no one has the exact same outlook on things that you have.
When you open your mouth to speak, realise how important what you have to say actually is. There is no one else who can say it just exactly the way you are about to, and no one knows exactly what your thoughts and feelings are.
When you start to realise the enormity and the power of your uniqueness you will stop trying to conform, trying to fit into a mould and worse trying to become like someone else.
If there is something about yourself you don’t care for, consider that many other woman may be right now wishing they had it.
If we all stopped comparing and started celebrating our own amazingness there would be no limit to our freedom and our power.
So, look in the mirror and realise today, that you are so enough it’s actually fascinating.
There is absolutely no limit to what you can achieve when you realise it’s all coming from you.
10 THINGS TIME HAS TAUGHT ME
1. Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day you realise that is the day you really start to live.
2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.
3. Fighting the ageing process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been. Don’t waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.
4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.
5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.
6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.
7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine.
8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.
9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.
10. Always, always, drink the good champagne and use the things you keep for ‘best’. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. Eat, Drink & Be Merry.
A beautiful print of this post is available to download here…
Words: Donna Ashworth
Photo of Ali Macgraw by Edith Young.
THINGS TO STOP THIS WEEK:
Worrying – It’s a giant waste of your Imagination and it steals your peace.
Projecting – We spend so much of our quite time going over things that may never even happen.
Negative thinking – You may not realise it but your thinking creates your reality, are you tuned into Negative FM?
Frowning – Check in with your face and I bet you’ll be surprised just how often your face is set to this mode.
Doubting – Try and refrain from this for a whole week and your luck will soon change.
Judging – It’s easy to judge what we don’t understand, everyone is going through something.
THINGS TO START THIS WEEK:
Visualising – If you can dream it, you can have it. Try imagining what you’d really like in this life. It works.
Being Present – Really BE here, wherever you are. Not in the past and not in the present, but right here right now.
Positive thinking – Change the radio station to Glass Half-Full FM and sing along.
Smiling – Fake it at first and it will soon take hold, and it’s completely infectious. Works wonders on you and everyone around you.
Believing – Those who believe, achieve. Channel your inner child and believe in miracles – you are one.
Accept – Make peace with your past, accept the things you cannot control and only let the really important stuff affect you. For everything else apply the 5 year rule: If it won’t matter in 5 years then don’t waste 5 minutes being upset about it now.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK LADIES
YOU GOT THIS
Break me once but never twice.
For the day I realised that being broken was not an option but a necessity, was the day I became invincible.
You see none of us can make it through this life without cuts, wounds and breaks – but it’s in the getting up and the gluing back together – that our true beauty is revealed.
We are all a beautiful mosaic. An inspiring work of art.
Each time we break, we find the strength to glue our pieces back together and whilst we are never the same, we are somehow even more breathtakingly beautiful than before.
An individual and unique work of art.
When you realise that you hold the glue and you are the artist, you will no longer fear the breaks.
But you will surround yourself with those who help to glue and who help to shape.
And you will rid yourself of those who like to break.
For those people enjoy the sound of the smashing, but the reality is they live in fear.
They haven’t worked it out yet that breaking others does not make your pieces stronger or provide a shield.
They know, deep down, that when they break they will remain broken. And so they continue to break others and watch in awe as they resurrect.
You see, being broken makes you stronger.
We are oh so imperfect, and oh so gloriously strong, in all our weaknesses.
Wear your battle scars with pride ladies and embrace your breaks, for you had the strength to get back up again, even more powerful than before.
And oh so much more beautiful.
Donna Ashworth LPIO 2017
Download your print here…
INCREDIBLE THINGS HAPPEN
It’s a crazy rollercoaster of a ride, this life.
For us all.
But for us women it’s made even harder by the pesky little mind-benders we call hormones. They manipulate, taunt and take over our body, mind and soul.
As plugged in as we are, and we really are (it’s no lie that intuition is our favourite superpower, of many), we are still at the mercy of these unseen tormentors.
We are pretty awesome for this fact alone.
Not to mention the strength we have – I don’t mean the power to lift weights although we could totally do that if we fancied. I mean the strength we have to handle life.
In any given day we can be coaching several different friends or family members through a minefield in their world as well as keeping multiple people and animals alive, happy and safe and spinning a ridiculous amount of plates – on and on an on.
And maybe at the very end of that day we will turn our thoughts to ourselves. Maybe, if we have an ounce of energy left.
So ladies, hold UP your sisters.
Refrain from judgement.
Be the kind of women you want in your life.
BE free with your smiles for strangers, the knowing ‘we got this’ look between women who just ‘know’ each other’s situation immediately on impact. You can’t buy that stuff, it’s priceless.
If you see a fellow sister hustling, help her along.
If you see another woman struggling, give her a hand.
If you spot that look of insecurity, throw out a compliment.
We need each other.
We really, really need each other.
And when we have each other there is no end to what we can achieve together.
You see….women know. Even when we don’t know, we still know – because we just know.
And that, THAT, pretty much sums it up.
Because we just know.
Being a woman is a crazy ride but it’s a fabulous ride, if you’re sharing it right.
Go forth and love your girls.
What Will You Do With Your Dash?
You see, you can make all the money you desire, buy all the things you ever dreamed of and do everything your imagination can possibly conjure, but at the end of it all, who will be remembering you and for what?
I have a theory, that whilst making history during our stay on this planet is a memorable and worthy thing for sure (who wouldn’t want to find a cure for cancer or save lives every day, for example).
It’s love, actually, that burns your memory on the retina of this earth.
The people you create through your love. The souls you shape through your love. The hearts you touch with your love. They all carry your name in loving memory and for the very best of reasons.
When you love someone, regardless of shared genetics, you somehow place a little part of yourself into them, and that little part can pass through generations. No one can quite explain how that works, but it does.
Even if you don’t ‘love’ that person, a life lived lovingly and in kindness can affect the journeys of so many, that in the same vein, a tiny little cell of your being is passed on and on and on, creating little magical stories along the way.
There is an unexplained and mystical pathway of fizzing, sparkling, loving energy, that runs invisibly underneath our world and interconnects one human to another. It is not something Science can record and nor is it something money can buy.
The poorest person can leave the longest loving trail behind him, when his time on this earth is over. Likewise, the woman who ‘on paper’ didn’t achieve all that much, can actually have made an impact deeper than any political or social revolution and more enduring than any grand building.
IN THE END, YOUR LIFE IS MADE OF TWO DATES AND A DASH…
So, what will you do with yours?
Fill it well.
You’ve closed your bright eyes now my darling,
You’ve given your all to this day.
And now that you’re sleeping so soundly,
There’s so much that I want to say
I’m sorry I didn’t play longer,
You begged me for just one more game.
I regret all the times I ignored you
I’m truly awash with the shame.
And sometimes I know I get shouty
Your bottom lip wobbles with tears.
I pray that you know I don’t mean it.
It’s one of my deepest dark fears.
Tomorrow, I promise to linger.
And stare at the bugs on the ground
I promise to try not to rush you
And listen to your every sound.
I want you to know you’re amazing,
A tonic in every way.
You show me what life is about love.
You’re blazing bright, leading the way.
Your laughter can fill me with gladness.
Your smile is more bright than the sun.
I could stare at your profile for hours.
My beautiful, smart little one.
Please never doubt how much I love you.
The sight of you makes my heart swell.
The way that your cheek curves so plumply,
That wonderful, baby soft smell.
So sleep tight my angel, I’m with you.
Dream of a life filled with fun.
If I could stop things that may hurt you.
I’d do so my brave little one.
Storms may rage over our castle.
And life can be so full of harm.
But all I can do is to love you.
You’re safe here in my loving arms.
I’d give all I have to protect you.
And bring you a world that is safe.
Till then I can only just hold you.
And wish all the badness away.
By D. Ashworth
copywright LPIO 2017
Some more of your favourite quotes from the last couple of weeks, share, save or just enjoy! X
If someone tells you you’re not normal, thank them for the compliment…
For life is too short to blend and fade into the background.
To compromise and squeeze into boxes that weren’t made for us and don’t fit us at all.
To thrash out all our ‘quirks’ and unique qualities and smooth down our edges until we are bland and acceptable.
To beat down all our dreams so we can better serve the machine and the 9-5 grind.
To settle for something simply because it’s what we are told we ‘should’ want.
Should is a very very dangerous word.
I should, you should, we should.
Why should we?
Life was made to be stretched and evolved not to smother and oppress.
There is no ceiling to the happiness one person can feel and no end to the limits they can reach.
Burn brightly, sparkle fiercely, live loudly.
Most of all be you.
You are not only enough, you are a whole new level of enough.
You are you and no one is quite like you.
When someone tells you you’re not normal,
you’re doing something right.
You’re not normal, You’re amazing.
by D. Ashworth
1. Whatever is challenging you this week, you have everything you need right inside of you. It’s there, dig deep.
2. You have been through harder times before and come out smiling. Think about it.
3. Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want. Stop it.
4. Even the very best of weeks begin with a Monday morning, embrace it.
5. If you’re scared, do it afraid. Fear is an instinct that exists to protect you, not stop you.
6. If you can dream it, you can do it. Believe in miracles – you are one.
7. Be kind but don’t be anyone’s door mat, you are far too good to accept crappy behaviour.
8. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Let it go, you deserve to feel at peace.
9. Remember, everyone is going through something. Don’t judge until you know the full story.
10. Just once this week, let her out. That feisty little firecracker that is inside of you somewhere….ask her what she would do, she may just have the answers sometimes.
Whatever this week throws at you – you got this.
©LPIO 2017/ Donna Ashworth
1. It’s okay to realise you aren’t the same as you used to be. Making another human changes a girl. It’s the all-consuming love and the lack of sleep mostly. Go with it, this is you – right here, right now. Nothing stays the same and this won’t either.
2. Your days may seem to consist of exactly the same routines but your moods can change like the wind. This is exactly as it should be. Laugh about it when you can, cry when you can’t. You are human.
3. You may think everyone else is doing a better job than you, but trust me they aren’t. We are all just spinning plates and trying our best.
4. Hold back from judging other Mums who do things differently, see point no.3, we are all just winging it in a very scary world.
5. Everyone shouts and everyone loses their cool. Don’t beat yourself up. Love that child with all your heart and no slip up of your mood will ever touch that.
6. Your body has given you something so amazing, reward it with care and positivity. Wear your changes with pride and stop hiding them. Your children need to see what a real woman’s body looks like. If we all did this the whole world would be a different place.
7. If you are scared you won’t have enough love to share with another child, don’t be. It will amaze you.
8. Your children will remember how how soft your hugs were, how infectious your laugh was and how magic your magic kisses were. They won’t remember an untidy house or messy hair. They see through all the crap in life, learn from them.
9. For goodness sake, take the picture. Don’t delete the ones you don’t look good in or shy away from the camera. One day they will mean everything to the most precious people in your world. Keep them true and keep them real. They tell the story. You want that story to be remembered.
10. There will be days when your world is black and there will be times when challenges swamp you and you think you can’t go on. You can. Allow yourself to break sometimes and then get back up stronger when you’re ready. None of us are made of steel but we are made of something even stronger – we are made of woman.
Oh and one more thing, we all drink too much/ eat too much/hide in a cupboard sometimes, it’s called survival … be kind to yourself Mummy. You got this.
Words: Donna Ashworth
Somewhere inside of you, there’s a little firecracker with her arms folded and a frown on her face.
She isn’t happy about all the times you said no when you wanted to say yes.
All the times you said yes when you wanted to say no.
She wanted you to buy the ticket.
She wanted you to take that trip.
She definitely wanted you to take that risk – the one that may have just opened a whole new world.
She wants you to remember what it feels like to run to the sea without a care in the world and splash and laugh till you ache.
To face the day without a fear in your heart and embrace every opportunity that comes.
She doesn’t understand why you won’t wear the bikini.
She doesn’t understand why you won’t eat the cake.
She doesn’t understand why you don’t let it go.
She definitely doesn’t understand why you accept second best.
Somewhere inside there is a little girl who wonders at the adult you’ve become..
She still has many things she wants to learn and so many people still to meet.
She still has food she’d like to taste and parties she wants to dance at.
She still has places she wants to visit and wonders she wants to stare at.
Somewhere inside you, there is a little firecracker – desperate to see more of this thing we call life.
Go get her, she’s fun.
1. That feeling you get when you hold each other and fit just right – the feeling of being home – that’s something millions of people in the world have yet to experience. Some may never. Treasure it.
2. Trust is an invisible entity and yet it’s the very foundation of all relationships. Build it and keep it sacred, it’s your castle and the only defence you will ever need.
3. When you are old and tomorrow is not a guarantee, you won’t remember any of the silly stuff or who was right about what. You will remember their smell, their laugh, the way they looked at you and the way they made you feel.
4. If your loved one tells you you are beautiful, believe it. It’s what they see. Try seeing yourself the way they do and you are winning at life.
5. Don’t underestimate the power of your kiss, it’s your own private language that only you two can speak and it it cuts through layers and layers of pain, upset or misunderstanding. Use it.
6. You may never fully understand each other but the day you stop trying is the dawning of the end.
7. If you see something wonderful in your partner every day, tell them every day. Life is too short.
8. Mind games lead to more mind games, the only game you need to be playing is one that makes you both laugh.
9. Never stop seeing your partner. I mean really seeing them. Look with fresh eyes whenever you can, it will amaze you.
10. True love doesn’t mean days filled with flowers and kisses. It means listening, supporting, tolerating and being there whenever you are needed. It’s hard. It can be ugly. It can hurt. But It’s so very worth it.
10 THINGS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
1. We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in.
2. See that stunning woman over there? She has just as many body hang-up as you do.
3. Don’t look for a hero to save you, sometimes it’s the Princess who slays the dragon.
4. When someone tries to dim your light, show them just how fiercely you can shine.
5. If you feel like second best, walk on out with your head held high.
6. Don’t be fooled by the Facebook facade, everyone wakes up with morning breath.
7. Never compare, that’s for fools. Focus on what makes you, you – and be the freaking best at it.
8. Big up your fellow women, every day. There is room for every star to shimmer.
9. We all have rolls when we bend over and we all eat ice-cream straight from the carton.
10. Never be ashamed to cry or dribble when you laugh – the female body is 90% water – that’s got to come out somehow right?
Oh and one more…
Don’t waste any precious tears or time on someone who doesn’t see your worth. If they don’t now, they never will.
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! “
Author Ben Tatinger
I said I would have ‘just a couple’
Then it became ‘just a few’
Then someone brought shots to our table
And that’s pretty much when I knew…
So then I thought – may as well do it!
You’re only alive a short time
And then I got really into it
Now all I can taste is stale wine
My brain’s been replaced with a sponge
A wet one, with no use or purpose
My body is screaming for mercy
For goodness sake – even my hair hurts!
So please if you see me in future
DON’T offer me vodka or bubbles
I’m turning tea-total I tell you
This drinking lark gets me in trouble…..
This blog is going to do exactly as it says on the tin. A place for you all to come, not to simply hear from me, but to hear from one another. A place to share the good stuff that us girls all bring (without probably even realising it) and most importantly – pass it on.
Something us ladies do very well is communicate, we are known and admired (not enough if you ask me) for our ability to talk. We can talk through the good times, the bad times and the in between. This site was born from the need to share advice that has lasted generations alongside the latest, hot from the press information and subjects.
Another thing the fairer sex does extremely well is support: I hope that this site will empower, inform and support as many of us who need or want it. Infact, unlike any other blog online, my dream is to publish all of us girls on a regular basis. Does not matter who you are, where you are, what you do or how well you write – if you have something to say I want the world to hear it so simply drop me a line to be heard and you could have your words and your face displayed right here!
There are no boundaries here ladies! Consider yourself amongst friends whilst perusing these pages – we can chat about anything just like you would with your friends – the only stipulation is that once you have read something that either helped you, made you smile or caught your interest – PLEASE PASS IT ON.