As details emerge of your final moments, it seems that you faced every mother’s worst fear – having to leave your child without knowing whether or not he would be safe.
They say that you mustered up just enough strength to heave him back onto the boat, before the current pulled you under. They say he had on a life-jacket but you did not, something we mothers often do without realising, we put ourselves last on our own lists.
I have dreams just like this Naya, dreams where I am forced to go. It is not my own life that is of value in these dreams, it is leaving my child to the world, without me to protect them.
I can’t even begin to imagine the terror you faced in that instant. It will stay with me for a long time as a reminder of how blessed I am.
I hope you can rest in peace knowing that he is safe, that he made it to a kind place before more disaster struck. I hope that you can forgive yourself for not making it through.
I hope your son remembers you as a mother who gave herself so that he could go on.
Not as someone who didn’t do the right thing. I hope his anger at your loss is overshadowed by the strength of your sacrifice.
I hope he sees that in any moment of this rollercoaster ride we call life, the worst can happen in the blink of an eye. We don’t expect it.
We do what we have to do, save the ones we love.
I hope he realises he had the most wonderful mother a child could wish for.
I hope, beyond hope for all of this.
Sleep peacefully Naya, you were a mother, you did what you had to do.