If You Have Ever Lost Someone To Suicide…

Advertisements

If you have ever lost someone to suicide, you will know what it’s like to feel guilt…
Guilt that you didn’t see more.
Guilt that you didn’t do more.
Guilt that you couldn’t find the glue to stick their shattered pieces back together.
Overwhelming, cloying guilt, that suffocates you in the deep of the night and drowns your body in sweat.

If you have ever lost someone to suicide, you will also know what it’s like to feel regret…
Regret that you didn’t care more.
Regret that you didn’t notice more.
Regret that you failed to see their sinking ship go down, in time.
Heart-breaking, gut-wrenching regret which strikes fear into your heart at the most random of moments, as a life un-lived plays out, like a movie in your mind.

Advertisements

You see, when you lose someone to suicide, you will be eternally haunted by the ‘what ifs’.
What if maybe, just maybe, there was a way you could have kept them here longer?
What if you missed a signal or failed to spot an opportunity to be their hero?
What if you were the one who caused them such pain?

If you have lost someone to suicide, you will forever see visions of them in their final moments.
Were they afraid?
Did they feel fear?
Did they think of me?
And worst of all, was there a moment of regret, too late?

If you have ever lost someone to suicide, you know the pain of a grief that consumes, as you see those who survive them struggle, every minute of every day.
Struggling mostly with the question, ‘why wasn’t I enough to stay alive for.’
You were so very much enough.

But sometimes, there are souls who will never see their worth whilst they walk this earth. And the more ‘enough’ you are to them, the less ‘ enough’ they feel.
They will never understand that just the fact they are alive, is all they need to be sometimes.
They will never see a way through the black hole of their pain.

And one day, they will just decide that they can’t go on a minute longer and they will fall into the black hole, searching for peace.
And we will never have the answers to those awful, torturous questions.
If you are living with this loss my friend, be kind to yourself.

There is not always a way to keep someone alive.
Let go of the anger because the hurt underneath it, is already enough to bear.

You must hold on to your peace too.
Let them go.
It’s the only choice you have if you’re going to survive.
And we must survive my friend, we owe it to them to do what they could not.

Donna Ashworth

#suicide #depressionkills #poemforasuicide

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Flat lay book image

SIGNED & PERSONALISED BOOK GIVEAWAY

I would like to give away some signed copies of my book, History Will Remember When The World Stopped. Not just signed but with a …

Read on
History will remember when teh world stopped

History Will Remember When The World Stopped

History will remember when the world stopped, by Donna Ashworth

Read on
3FF7A105-85E8-4A36-99F2-70A3706B54AD

One Day, An Army Of Furious Older Women Will Take Over The World…

One Day… An army of furious older women will take over the world. And I want to be there at the front. Because one day, …

Read on
70281B98-273C-4390-9AC4-0CA3A60BD6C7

YOU DID YOUR BEST TODAY

YOU DID YOUR BEST TODAY You did what you could. You could have done more – possibly. You could have done things differently – sure. …

Read on
935F99F9-9DE7-44C5-BEAF-882BE891D073

TO THE WOMAN

TO THE WOMAN with the full-time career, who occasionally feels the guilt of the life choices she has made… you are doing a great job. …

Read on
61382A77-1292-40AA-AD62-4046AB89C482

TO THE WOMAN WHO WILL LOVE MY SON ONE DAY…

TO THE WOMAN WHO WILL LOVE MY SON ONE DAY… It is hard, so hard, to imagine a day where I will not be the moon, …

Read on
139F18DF-3419-4C1D-8432-8D4AA846DAAE

When God created woman

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day……. An angel came by and asked.” Why spend so much time on her?” …

Read on
Abstract palm hands touching brain with network connections, innovative technology in science and communication concept

8 THINGS I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THIS WEEK..

This is your Sunday evening reminder

Read on
835DA3A6-302F-44B6-B41F-7F9EB23DDF63-1771-000003CF64D852F7

TO THE BABIES BORN SLEEPING

To the babies born sleeping… It comforts me to think that you felt no pain. You knew nothing of fear, or hunger, or sadness. It …

Read on
83306544-A432-462B-B43E-AEEB4CC437E5

TO OUR DAUGHTERS

TO OUR DAUGHTERS 🌟 You were born made of softness, sweetness and love, but with a will so strong it could bend iron – despite …

Read on
795E065C-1B33-460F-9BAF-AA4CB8D20E21

You Don’t Look Like The Settling Kind, Keep Not Settling…

Don’t settle Don’t finish crappy books Leave the restaurant if you don’t care for the menu Don’t waste 2 hours on a movie you don’t …

Read on
1E5B9BD3-42D4-4195-BAFA-4B5222D1A10E

10 TRUTHS EVERY MARRIED COUPLE NEEDS TO KNOW

1. It’s you against the problem, not you against each other. Remember that and you won’t go far wrong. 2. You WILL go to sleep on …

Read on