Dear Harry, I am a mum of 2 boys…
My eldest is the same age as you were when your beautiful Mummy died. I still cannot watch the footage of what you were forced to endure that day, it knocks the breath out of my lungs even now to imagine the depth of your pain.
There is no doubt in my mind that you carry this trauma with you, every day.
And now you have found love for yourself and you understand exactly the extent of a parent’s love and how enduring that is.
There is no doubt in my mind that this makes you even more angry for the great love you lost so young.
So I want you to know that as a Mum, I get it.
It is not your responsibility to carry on the title you were born to.
You didn’t choose it.
It is not your responsibility to accept that the world will watch your every move.
You didn’t choose that either.
You don’t have to accept the daily hounding, the criticism and the circus that surrounds you.
None of it is your doing.
Your mum wanted nothing more than to be loved and to see you both happy. We saw her as ours but she was only ever yours, it must frustrate you to share her memory with the world.
The truth is that you and your brother are the only people who deserve to grieve her so.
But share you must and that is hard.
It is obvious that you don’t have the answers now, that you crave a brave new world and you’re boldly going there regardless. It is evident that you are both hurt and don’t know where to turn.
I am sure she would be proud of you. I’m also sure that she would remind you that where you came from is important too, that your life is a blessing and if you step back for a while, you will no doubt see how blessed you are.
So, take that time. Make mistakes, be human.
The world will still be here waiting if you do decide to return.
Yes a million eyes will be watching you, berating you and waiting for you to fall, but that is nothing new to you.
Ignore them and forge your own path.
We will just have to catch up.
This is your life and you know only too well, that it can be breathtakingly short. So do what you feel you must, to build a life you can be happy in…
But perhaps, bear in mind that when you lost your Mother that day, a nation took you into their hearts and have loved you ever since.
You may not see it now but you, my boy, are loved.
You really, truly are.