Things I Wanted To Say But Never Did…

Things I Wanted To Say But Never Did…
Went in a sad little box in my mind, alongside the things I wanted to do but never did.
They nestled there beside the opportunities I missed through fear and insecurity.
Places I didn’t go to when I had the chance.
People I didn’t dare to meet.
I would sometimes open the lid of the box to have a peep, when I felt brave.
Or angry enough.
Regret and bitterness would flood out and overwhelm me, mostly in the dark of the night.
The stench of ‘could have’ was suffocating.
So one day, when the box became more full than the life I was living, I said ‘no more’.
There is no more room in that box and so much room around me.
There is no more space for self-pity.
There are no more days left for wasting.
It is now.
So I began…by saying yes more, much more. And also saying no too; to things that stole my joy and froze my heart.
I spoke my mind and my truth, always with kindness. For kindness is easy when you open the box.
I took the chances that came my way and sought out a few more.
And life became so much more colourful that I began to weep for the colours I had missed all those years.
But there was no time for those tears.
I had work to do.
Regrets became challenges, fears became thrills and desires, desires became wonderful experiences.
I still keep the box.
If only to remind me that it must remain empty.
Donna Ashworth
LPIO 2018



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