A man came home from work one day and found his children outside in the backyard, covered in chocolate, still wearing dirty pyjamas, running wild…

Alarmed, he picked this way through the debris of the kitchen; piles of dirty dishes and food scraps everywhere, the house looked as though it had been ransacked!

He was becoming increasily worried for the safety of his wife.

He grabbed a bat for protection and bravely tackled the obstacle course of toys that littered the entire downstairs of the house, horrified on the way by a smashed vase, a spilled carton of milk on the new carpet and felt pen all over the wall in the hall – he could barely make out a very bad word scrawled all over it.

Through mountains of laundry and rubbish he finally made his way to the stairs and ran up, fear gripping his very heart now.

Several times he tripped and stumbled, over a toy car or a pile of lego as well as a fort made from what appeared to be his best clothes. Water was pouring from the bathroom and already dripping through the ceiling into the room below. He turned off the tap and with a terrified sense of dread he ran, eventually finding his wife in their bedroom, reading a magazine on the bed, which was strewn with toast crusts and jammy fingers and covered in muddy paw-prints from the wet dog.


Breathless he asked, ‘My darling, what on earth has happened here today, are you okay?’

His wife turned her bed mussed head towards him and said with an eerie sense of calm…

Hello Darling, you know how you’re always asking me what I do every day?

Well today, I didn’t do it.’

Well today I didn’t do it.


Words: D. Ashworth LPIO 2018



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