TO MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD,
I wrote this letter just in case.
Just in case life dealt us a cruel, cruel blow.
Just in case for some god-forsaken reason I was taken away from you too soon.
There are some things I need to know that you will know…
I love you. I mean I really love you. The love I have for you is so strong it physically hurts sometimes, like I could actually burst. Like I would die for you, happily, if it meant you would be safe. This kind of love is divine and you will know it when you find it, be patient.
Never tell anyone you love them when you don’t.
From the moment we met, I knew my world was about to change. It became a far scarier place with you in it. You were so very precious to me that everything seemed dangerous and threatening. I guarded you day in day out, so that you could go on to live a life unafraid. Go out there and take risks my beautiful little one.
Remember, fear is there to protect you, not stop you. Weigh up all the risks and if it still feels right then go for it.
I never left you to cry. I just couldn’t. Despite the advice to the contrary I held you as much as you wanted me to and listened to your every complaint, soothed your every concern and dried away your every tear. You were so loved.
Carry on speaking up when things aren’t right. Always be kind. Always be empathetic. Always be the person you want to meet. Always believe that love is the goal.
You are perfect to me. Absolute perfection. I stared at your profile in amazement for years and years, I know every curve of your face and every hair on your head. In my eyes, you are wondrous.
Find someone who looks at you like that and always look at them like that too. It’s what you deserve and what you have always had.
Life can be awful sometimes, then it can be amazing, then it can be awful again and sometimes it gets so bad you think you can’t take it. You can take it. You really can. The beauty of life is just around every corner, if you look for it. You used to look for it all the time. You saw the joy in every moment and you reminded me every day just how much of a gift this life is.
Always be ready to see the beauty in a sunrise or a sunset. Hold on tight through the rough times, let go and ride through the happy times. Everything is temporary.
Everything that is, except my love for you. It’s in every cell of your body and it always will be.
I will be waiting on you, always.