I’VE BEEN TRYING TO BE GOOD MY WHOLE LIFE

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Maybe now it’s time to be me.

From the moment I could sit up unaided, I have been trying to be good.

I have been trying to please.

I have been trying to fit in and do ‘the right thing’.

The nights I have worried myself sick, thinking that maybe, I had failed to do the right thing, maybe I had unleashed a little bit of me without filtering or editing myself first, are too many to mention.

Those moments of fear, was time sorely spent.

You see the problem is, by trying to be good we wrestle with all the emotions and characteristics that we were born with.

We literally go against ourselves trying not to go against the grain.

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We were not meant to always get it right, to always be perfect and ‘good’.

We were meant to be messy and ugly and flawed.

And that’s okay, if your heart is in the right place, that’s really okay. There is beauty in that ugliness, so much beauty.

I am thinking that maybe it’s time I stopped editing my words, my thoughts, and my life and started just being myself, with a good heart. Always with a good heart.

After all, who am I harming by living the way I want to?

Those who may take offence will find a way to take offence no matter what…that’s what they do – and that’s their problem.

From the moment I could sit unaided I have been trying to be good.

Now, I am trying to be myself.

 

I’ve been trying to be good my whole life

 

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