It happens in the night.
I suddenly realise how bloody lucky I am. That I lived another day. That I have a house and a family and people who love me. That I am well and safe. That we are all well and safe.
I think of how blessed I am to have little people to exhaust me with their endless needs and their constant questions.
How wonderful it is that I have a job to keep me crazy busy.
Always at night.
I fall back and I feel grateful, and lucky. So lucky.
I think of my friends and the little things they do that brighten my day.
I think of my little gang and about how I shouted too loudly, too many times. I feel guilty for being such a nag.
I feel guilty for it all.
I vow to wake up tomorrow fresh, full of energy and love.
I vow to answer all the messages I didn’t get round to today.
I vow to smile and be serene, and never shout.
And then morning comes and the demands begin, the rush is on, the treadmill starts up.
And yes I nag, I shout, I forget and I am not aware of how lucky I am.
Till bedtime comes around.
And I remember again, how wonderful life is.