10 THINGS TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN EVERY DAY
I love you.
Sounds obvious but heart-breakingly, the majority of parents who have lost a child wish they had said it more. It can never be said too much, especially when they are in trouble. Kids need to separate how much they are loved, from how they behave.That’s how needy adults are made. Following rules and behaving well begets a great life, but it does not win you love. Love is far deeper and far more unconditional than that.
Don’t worry about creating an over-confident child, that isn’t a thing, if respect has been taught too. Praise on a loop teaches a positive mindset which will continue throughout their life. Constant criticism creates the opposite and is sadly, very common. Watch how you speak to your partner in front of them too, they are always listening, always learning.
Trying is just as important, if not more so, than winning. In fact, strike that, trying is FAR more important than winning! A child who wants to have a go at everything despite the outcome of failure or win, will have a wonderful, colourful life ahead full of amazing experiences and rewarding hobbies.
What did you learn?
When a try does result in a miss, have a little chat about the lessons learned. Teach your kids that failure isn’t a thing – only mistakes along the way to eventual success. Failure only happens when you give in too soon or refuse to take part. The satisfaction should be found in the trying and not in the medal.
That makes me happy.
If your child does or says a little thing that’s warms your heart, tell them! Their emotional intelligence will be based on what they learn from you and those they love. Show them why things feel good and they will do it more often.
That makes me feel sad.
Speaks for itself right? Tell them, in your words, why something they have said or done makes you or someone else feel sad or hurt and discuss how that person must be feeling. Empathy begins here. The more these things are discussed, the more your child will be prepared for a lifetime of interactions with a myriad different personalities.
I respect that.
Respect is so important and whilst we all tell our children they ‘need to have respect’, you’d be surprised how little that is explained and demonstrated so that they actually understand. Show them. Respect their boundaries and choices (when the time is right) and they will get exactly what you mean when you tell them to respect you back. Show respect to others around them too and point it out as it happens.
How does that make you feel?
Good mental health begins early, encouraging your children to discuss their feelings and analyse how they came about, will set a solid and wonderful foundation for a happy life. This cannot be stressed enough. Teach them also how to deal with their anger and their negative emotions, like jealousy for example. There are children’s books that really help with this.
Do you see that?
This one is close to my heart. We are all busy and have so much to do every day, but we must, MUST, teach our kids, and ourselves, to stop and notice. To look around. To see things. To see people. To talk about everyday occurrences and make them wonderful. To stop and smell the roses and appreciate the minutiae of life, It is rewarding on so many levels. The stroppiest of children love to stop and watch a leaf fall off a tree and hear all about Mother Nature and the seasons.
I love it when you…
We are back to self-esteem here, because let’s face it, you can have the best education in the world but if your self-esteem is awry, life can be tough. Far tougher than it needs to be. Constantly pointing out your child’s flaws will teach them to do that to others, but worse, to themselves. Be a positive voice in their heads, a mantra of positivity and affection, and you will have given them a gift far more worthy than anything your money could buy.
As always ladies, please pass it on and please let me know what you think…