Nobody told me how much I would miss you.
That I would continuously reach for my phone, then stare numbly at the screen as the realisation dawns….you won’t answer anymore.
That I would ache to tell you about my day, and ask what you thought I should do, what should I do??
That I would forget the sound of your voice and spend hours, in vain, trying to recall it exactly.
Nobody told me that I would struggle to breathe sometimes when someone who looks like you walks past me, and in that fleeting moment, I forget you are gone.
Then the crushing pain as it all comes flooding back.
I wonder if you’re trying to reach me and I am missing the signs somehow. I often feel you so strongly beside me that it rips my heart to remember you are not really real.
You see, nobody told me how the finality of your departure would be more shocking, more gut-wrenching, than anything.
Anything I have experienced until now.
Nobody told me that living without you would be like breathing without lungs. Walking without legs. Sleeping without dreams. Eating without taste.
Nobody told me how much I would miss you, my love.
You were my North, my South, my East and my West.
My working week and my Sunday rest.
I miss you.