YOUR CHILD IS NOT AN EXTENSION OF YOU
This is perhaps the hardest aspect of parenting for me.
Yes, our children are a wonderful cocktail-shaker mix of our genetics. That is plain to see.
But their personalities?
They are for the large part, conditioned, but what’s left-over – it’s all them.
They are born with a soul, just like we all are. And with that soul comes a character. Science cannot explain this. It is just part of life’s wonderful mystery.
We cannot really change a child to be more like us, or more like we want them to be. We can lead them, guide them and mould them to a degree, but we must allow for the part of them that we may not recognise, or even understand.
Sometimes, this is a wonderful thing. When amazing little humans somehow spring from the toughest of upbringings.
Sometimes, it is a worry. When destructive characters emerge from a healthy, loving home.
Either way, it is not fully under our control.
We hear parents saying ‘Oh he gets that from me.’ The reality is that he has learned it.
It has not come from within him.
In order to allow what is within him to really blossom, he will need space. Some time to be. Some freedom to find his groove in this life.
So, the next time you feel vexed that your child is behaving in a way that ‘you just don’t know where he gets it from.’
He gets it from himself.
And he needs help to work it out.
Even if you have to get help so you can better understand that.
Ladies, Pass It On.