IF YOUR DAUGHTER HAS LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Advertisements

HOW TO BUILD YOUR DAUGHTER’S SELF-ESTEEM AND BODY IMAGE

It is an even scarier world our kids are stepping out into these days and recently I have been contacted by several of our lovely readers asking how they can help build their daughter’s self-esteem.
We all know we need to ‘love ourselves’ and ‘be ourselves’ but how? Knowing what to say is one thing – but how do you get them to believe it?

Here is my advice, I am no expert but I am a woman who was a very anxious and troubled teen. My self-esteem was in the toilet – for no apparent reason. I had a great family, great grades and everything a teenage girl could ask for.

I was a high achiever with no ability to feel any joy in any of my abilities. Eating disorders followed and many years were blighted by this. These days, I am a very happy, fulfilled and mentally healthy woman. I spent a long time learning how to get here and it is by far my best achievement in life.

Enough about me, here is my advice…

If your daughter has low self-esteem

EXPLAIN THE ROOT CAUSE

Sit them down and explain to them that women, as a collective, struggle deeply with our body image and self-esteem. They are NOT alone. Nowhere near.

Explain to them that the only reason these two factors are connected at all is thanks to centuries of women being objectified and seen as ‘the fairer but weaker’ sex. It is conditioning. It is not their fault.

Explain that, wonderfully, we are in an era where this is no longer the case. And yet the remnants of the societal demands still haunt us and taunt us.

Advertisements

Explain that we therefore, firstly, need to join the fight to keep challenging this lingering belief, together.

Try to get them excited about the prospect, that if we all join, we could change society forever and eradicate the damaging and ridiculous images the media portrays – of women who look completely and utterly unreal and unobtainably beautiful.

Give them a mission to channel their emotions into!

This would further pave the way to a world where women do not feel the need to put themselves under so much more pressure than men – the pressure to look a certain way as well as achieve all the other things we really want to. Men simply do not have that issue.

ENLIGHTEN

Tell them that most women don’t achieve self-worth, inner peace, self-acceptance until they are in their ‘golden years’. It is not an easy thing to master. But, they can do it far more quickly using a few handy tools. We just didn’t know about those growing up.

Explain to them how much more fun and worthwhile life will be if they can prioritise this journey over other, less fulfilling pursuits. Why waste time, start living and loving life now.

Teach them the tools – the mirror work. The only way to really make peace with yourself is to look at yourself, in the eye, every day and say nice and inspiring things. At first it helps to imagine you are talking to a friend. You always see the best in your friends so apply that same rule to yourself. It does eventually become a habit and the positive effects are huge.

Tell them the ‘science’ – your thoughts literally shape your world. Your brain is a powerful ‘tool of creation’.

Change your thoughts and everything will follow.

Those people who believe in themselves don’t have any more reason to than the rest of us, do they?
No.
Their secret is that they just do. They just like themselves. They just look for the best in themselves and work on the rest. Make that choice. It is a choice. Feels false in the beginning but it soon becomes your reality.

BELIEVE

Beauty and appreciation are all in the eyes of the beholder – so decide to ‘behold’ your own. It is that simple. Takes time though. Lead by example wherever you can.

Lastly, find examples in their generation of ‘admired people’.

They are all around. There are fabulous examples of young women desperately trying to ‘be themselves’ and encourage acceptance.
Find the right ones for your daughter and show them.
All the time.
You cannot put enough emphasis on this.

They are not alone, quite the opposite.

It is not an ‘affliction’, it can be changed and they can change it. I don’t think many young women realise this.

We need to make them see that they can and they will.

REMIND THEM THAT THEIR ‘SELF’-WORTH COMES ONLY FROM THEM’SELVES’.

NEVER FROM ANYONE ELSE AND NEVER, EVER, FROM THE AMOUNT OF LIKES YOU GET ON SOCIAL MEDIA OR THE NUMBER OF FRIENDS YOU HAVE…

Ladies, I hope you have found this of some use, there is so much more I can say on this subject – I would love to hear from you.

 

Donna

 

 

 

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
A school teacher talking to her class on computer

The Teachers Have Had It Tough

The teachers of 2020/21 have had it tough. And that’s putting it lightly.They trained in their career for many years but were never prepared for …

Read on
Woman asleep on moon illustration

You’re Not Imagining It…

You’re not imagining it, nobody seems to want to talk right now.Messages are brief and replies late.Talk of catch ups on zoom are perpetually put …

Read on
CHARLES MACKESY DRAWING

ONE DAY

Today, I dared to let myself dream,That the world will one day open again.That the locks will loosen, the walls will fall,The doors will fly …

Read on
E5C99ACC-5066-4BA7-8EFB-A10F8E0AF772

Dear Mums, In Lockdown…

Dear Mums, Please remember one thing on your list of 400 today..You are not a teacher. You are a parent.You’re not home schooling, you’re ‘crisis’ …

Read on
3FF7A105-85E8-4A36-99F2-70A3706B54AD

One Day, An Army Of Furious Older Women Will Take Over The World…

One Day… An army of furious older women will take over the world. And I want to be there at the front. Because one day, …

Read on
D2635D9C-7D5E-4BEB-8D81-4D89D676FEA8

BE THAT WOMAN

Be the kind of woman you want to call when things go wrong. Be the motivator, the encourager of dreams. Be the kind of fierce …

Read on
70281B98-273C-4390-9AC4-0CA3A60BD6C7

YOU DID YOUR BEST TODAY

YOU DID YOUR BEST TODAY You did what you could. You could have done more – possibly. You could have done things differently – sure. …

Read on
83306544-A432-462B-B43E-AEEB4CC437E5

TO OUR DAUGHTERS

TO OUR DAUGHTERS 🌟 You were born made of softness, sweetness and love, but with a will so strong it could bend iron – despite …

Read on
795E065C-1B33-460F-9BAF-AA4CB8D20E21

You Don’t Look Like The Settling Kind, Keep Not Settling…

Don’t settle Don’t finish crappy books Leave the restaurant if you don’t care for the menu Don’t waste 2 hours on a movie you don’t …

Read on
521368950045

When You Say Goodbye To A Parent

When you say goodbye to a parent. You are suddenly living in a whole new world. You are no longer ‘the child’ and regardless of …

Read on
Illustration of mother and child Maggie chiang

Tomorrow I Promise To Linger…

  You’ve closed your bright eyes now my darling,You’ve given your all to this day.And now that you’re sleeping so soundly,There’s so much that I …

Read on
43A58A84-E316-4DAE-B5EC-D0C896965286

DEAR FRIEND, I’M SORRY FOR BEING SO BLOODY RUBBISH

Dear Friend, I am sorry for being so bloody rubbish. But you see, life moves really – REALLY – fast. From the minute I open …

Read on