1. Your children will base every relationship they ever have on the one that has defined them. This is that one.
2. You are being watched every minute of every day whether you realise that or not, set a good example.
3. No matter how bitter or petty you may be feeling on any given day, rise above. This is so much bigger than your feelings.
4. This story, your story, will mould generations to come – and you are in control of that outcome. It’s a very big deal.
5. The welfare of your family, and they are still your family, is far more important than being right. Don’t see a single moment of suffering, just to prove a point.
6. Provide. This is every parent’s job. It doesn’t matter who has what or who paid last time. Just give what is needed when it’s needed.
7. Accept. New partners may enter your world and at the end of the day there is nothing you can do to stop that. Your acceptance will create so much more harmony in your child’s life.
8. Encourage your child to like the new partner too – you will be showing them a fabulous way to live – for acceptance brings peace. Fact.
9. If you partner has a new relationship, that person will become a big player in your child’s life. They will need your help and your friendship. It has to be team if you are putting the child first.
10. Forgive. It is impossible to forget but if you want your child’s broken heart to mend (and their heart will truly be broken when their parents separate), then you must BE the example – that mistakes can be made and people can grow apart but that love can take many forms and the strongest of those forms is when a new human is made.
Ultimately, your child will live a full life with a part of you both existing within them – both genetically and spiritually. You are connected. If you can salvage and build a working relationship with their best interests at heart, then you are truly winning at life.
Easier said than done I realise, but so very worth it. The legacy will go on and on.
Because love, and raising our children, is what everything is about.