Hear me out. Im thinking out loud today…
We can agree that we are encouraged throughout our lives, whenever wrong is done to us, to forgive and forget – yes?
There is absolutely no doubt that LETTING GO is the healthy choice.
Holding onto bitterness and grudge is like drinking poison and excepting the other person to die.
But, surely forgiving and forgetting is a system which will only set us up for more of the same?
How on earth do we evolve as a person if we eradicate misdemeanours from our memory banks and give the perpetrators carte blanche, access-all-area passes to do the same again?
Trust is an instinct. Like Fight or Flight. Like Love. Like Survival. If we do not trust someone there is probably a very good reason for this, our instincts are very rarely wrong.
So, surely then, once a person has proven themselves to be against us in whatever way, shape or form that may be, we should RE-CATEGORISE them into a group of people marked “Apology accepted but proceed with caution and do not let your defences down at all costs’.
That said, we should definitely strive to accept any olive branches offered, put it to bed and move on with peace. Life is just too short after all and anything that steals your inner peace needs to be shut down and fast. Queen Elsa of Arrendelle knew her stuff when she had us all singing about ‘Letting it Go’ for 3 years straight.
But, depending on the severity of the wrong done, to me, it seems a bit dumb to ‘forgive and forget’ rather than ‘let go and learn a lesson’.
There is a saying that a ‘leopard never changes it’s spots’ but even if you are a believer that people do change, the concept of ‘Letting Go and Learning a Lesson’ still leaves the door open for a newer version of that person to come back in future. Or even stick around but maybe just, you know, in the garden figuratively speaking…😜
What do we think ladies?
Forgive & Forget or Let Go & Learn?
Opinions all gratefully received as always!
Donna
X
I am definitely in the “Let go and learn” group, being a trusting soul, half-glass-full type girl all my life… I have been bitten and stung multiple times by some of my FORMER best friends, and just moved on. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still sting some when I think back on certain things, but I have to forgive on a daily basis, and have learned to not trust that person again.
hi Mary, thanks for the response – I totally understand where you are coming from here, hence why I penned this! I understand the sting you’re talking about well! Donna x