Okay so we have roasted ourselves (read here if you missed it) – now it’s the boys’ turn! According to my recent research (chatting!) – here are the top 5 things they do to make us see red!
1. SELECTIVE HEARING
You know it and we know it…you are not listening most of the time and in fact, your brain only truly nudges you to check in to the conversation when certain words are mentioned – beer, sex, football, dinner, boobs…you get the jist. If I had a penny for every time my other half says ‘You didn’t tell me that’, when the truth is I have explained it to him in great detail – three times minimum. Likewise, I can be chatting quietly on another floor of the house to my best mate – mention the words “I bought some new shoes’ and abracadabra – he has Superman hearing abilities all of a sudden.
2. THE HANSEL & GRETEL TRAIL
Now, I am told that there are some exceptions to this rule but by far and wide you girls will hear me on this one. I can literally track my husband’s journey on arrival home from work by following the trail he’s left… shoes, jacket, keys, wallet, change…..all in different spots from the front door to the sofa. Recognise this story ladies? The trail can continue all night if he is left to it, resulting in a physical reminder for every single minute of his evening/day/life.
3. TEMPORARY BLINDNESS
Picture the scene, he is standing in front of the fridge with the door wide open shouting ‘Where is the ketchup sweety?’ You shout downstairs, ‘In the side shelf next to the mustard and ALL THE OTHER SAUCES darling’.
A minute passes… ‘No, it’s not there it must be finished!’ You put down the hairdryer and reply, slightly more loudly this time, ‘It is there, I used it an hour ago. It’s between the chilli sauce and the mustard – on the middle side shelf.’
Silence. The kids start chorusing ‘We want ketchup!’
Husband shouts “Nope, definitely no ketchup’, closes the door and leaves the kids to scream…
You sigh, stop what you are doing, come downstairs, open the fridge, pick the ketchup bottle up from the exact place you said it was and where it always has been and give it to the crying children.
4. MAN FLU
I hardly need to qualify this heading at all, except to add that the urban myth of man-flu is even more annoying when it goes hand in hand with period-pain disregard. So a common cold is enough to send you under for a week wearing the expression of a sorrowful baby seal but you think period pains are all in our head! I use my pantomime laugh here…HAHAHAHAHAAH! If only we could show you what it’s like for a day or two. That would put an end to that!
5. PRIDE IN YOUR BITS
You really REALLY love your bits and bobs and whilst I am all for self-love and confidence, it is safe to say you shouldn’t assume that just because you like looking at it and adjusting it all day long – doesn’t mean to say that we do too. Sometimes it would be nice if you weren’t always fiddling or ‘just like putting my hand there for comfort’. There is a time and a place boys!
Any more to add ladies? I think they got off quite well here don’t you? I could have gone on! Join the chat over on Facebook or comment below with your favourotes…