I was chatting with a friend this morning and something in my brain clicked – monumentally so! It was literally like a light being switched on in a part of my mind and I swear I could feel my soul breathing a sigh of relief and saying ‘Thank Goodness for that – about time too!’ As with pretty much everything going on in my world right now- I thought I would share it with you all.
…it was a comment she made about prioritising something that ISN’T GOING TO LAST THE JOURNEY, and what a waste of energy that actually is.
IT ISN’T GOING TO LAST!
MIND. BLOWN. RIGHT. THERE!
The something she was referring to was our ‘looks’ and in fact the part of our identity that we associate with ‘being attractive/hot/fit/gorgeous/sexy/desirable…whatever it is that you currently have going on. Let me explain…
When we hear ourselves described (let’s just say for example’s sake, it’s a male friend talking to another) would we expect to hear we were pretty/attractive or a ‘looker’ as well as all the other attributes we have? Or would we be totally happy to be described as a nice person or a smart cookie but a plain jane or ‘no oil painting’? Would it be okay with you if being attractive wasn’t a part of your life? Would you miss the praise, appreciation and admiration? Would you feel you had failed somehow or were lacking?
I am in no doubt that I would definitely miss the compliments a new outfit gets or the praise my girlfriends give my hair when it’s freshly blown and curled and I’m looking good. I would! And why would I? If I had to spend a week of my life in a plain black top with trackie pants and trainers, no make-up on and no styled hair/cute outfits/heels etc – I think I would be thoroughly miserable! This makes me vain right? Doesn’t it? Am I a horrible person – do I have it all wrong??? I consider myself to be very smart and spiritually in-tune so WHY AM I PAINTING MY FACE EVERY DAY!? Is it a mask or does society demand it of me? Do I feel inferior without it – yes I think I do!!
Losing Our “Looks”
As we age it gets harder and harder to ‘keep our looks’ as society would put it, but my question is ‘Why would we want to?” Yes it can be very upsetting spotting grey hairs and wrinkles in the mirror every day but why is it upsetting? Why are we so worried about getting older and why are we so obsessed with looking a certain way? What does ‘looks’ even refer to? We may not keep our youthful looks until we are 95 but surely a person with a beautiful soul, smiling eyes and a warm heart is always going to be beautiful??
Who told us that ageing wasn’t an absolutely fabulous thing and that wrinkles were awesome – the more the merrier!!!
Ageing is surely a GIFT because we are being given TIME!
When did the human race agree that looks were better in their youth or is that just an inbuilt reaction to something lovely being spoiled (why cant we see it as something lovely gaining something lovelier?)
This is not only aimed at women my age (early 40s), we are all ageing! Even a 25 year old is feeling the effect of time on their bodies. And if it’s not time they are worrying about it’s weight, hair-loss, skincare, make-up, teeth whitening; the list goes on and on and on. Not only that but the list changes; a few years ago you were mortified if you had a big bum, horrified! Now, we are all expected to have one! But no tummy, noooooo! A tiny waist and a huge bum – it’s not possible unless you’re designed that way! I have no control over where these maltesers I am eating goes to on my body!!!
Sorry for the rant there but it does drive me bonkers; why we are all suddenly supposed to have whiter than white teeth, big lips a big bum and MASSIVE hair…
But really, all this aside, I want to know WHY women feel like they need to be attractive and if in fact we all do feel like that or is just some of us?
The Sexism Debate
This week in the news, there has been a lot of talk about women expected to wear high heels and make-up to work and being (shock, horror) sent home for wearing flat shoes! It has sparked debates about sexism, equal rights and what exactly should be expected of a woman in the workplace – if anything – in terms of their appearance. it is a subject that can go round in circles and be extremely confusing.
Some will say it’s simply a dress code/uniform requirement and others will say that same code doesn’t apply to men – they’re never expected to PAINT THEIR FACES or elevate their legs!
There is also no doubt that if a normally glamorous celebrity suddenly appears overweight and badly dressed they will be DESTROYED by the media and indeed Social Media, so maybe the fear is real and it’s not vanity after all but self protection?
So, ladies – please satisfy my curiosity and tell me HOW VAIN YOU ARE?
Is it a real priority to you to look good or is it just a mere side issue? Do you feel you MUST look a certain way or are you free within your own body and mind to be just as you are?
I really want to know.
I for one, feel ever so slightly but fundamentally altered by the statement ‘why do we hang on so tightly to something that ISN’T GOING TO LAST THE JOURNEY’…from now on I plan to fully concentrate on what will last the journey – my inner beauty will last, my laughter and smile will last, the love that I have will last and my youthful spirit will last! I may not always be slim and aesthetically pleasing but I will always be GREAT FUN! That’s a promise!