Not quite as rewarding as having the X Factor but definitely as all-encompassing. Guilt. I have a problem. It’s bad! It’s so bad that I feel incredibly guilty about how guilty I am always feeling. Not to mention how guilty I feel when I realise I am not feeling guilty. It’s no way to live!
I rarely make New Year Resolutions (or at least the kind that are visible to the outside eye – I also hate failure and being judged!) but this year I am totally all over this NO MORE GUILT revolution.
This revolution (I am starting), is totally aimed at us women – why? Because we feel guilt like 50 times more than our male companions – and that’s fact! According to me…and all my female friends/family. Those statistics therefore stand!
First Question…So what am I going to do about it?
I am going to WATCH for the critical little guilt voice and when I hear it I am going to say NO. I choose not to listen to you – you are passive-agressive, negative and downright mean. Not to mention NO FUN AT ALL WHATSOEVER.
Now I am no psychologist but I reckon this is going to work.
However, firstly we must consider whether or not some guilt is necessary to live a morally upright life. Is guilt the same thing as conscience? Or are they two separate things?
If they are separate entities, and I believe they are, then we certainly don’t need guilt. Let’s just keep our conscience on the payroll and sack the other one off. Done and dusted. My conscience works just fine and will surely keep me on the straight and narrow with it’s ‘do unto others what you would have done to yourself’ narrative.
Next question….Is it going to be that easy?
Well, no probably not, but surely after a certain amount of time this is going to become part of my psyche and as easy as breathing? That’s the rule of thumb with these things – say it over and over until your subconscious accepts it as fact and therefore makes it a reality. This is a tried and tested method used by people in the spiritual know (it comes under the heading of affirmation – look it up it’s awesome).
Lastly – ARE YOU WITH ME?
Everything is easier with a buddy to spur you on so who is with me in saying NO TO GUILT?
Here are some random examples of how the guilt will most likely catch you…
Scenario number one: You have been invited to join the PTA, you know you don’t have time or energy to do it but you feel GUILTY because there are other mums just as busy as you doing it already. Do you want to do it? Will it bring you or your loved ones anything positive? If the answer is yes then great, stretch yourself and get on with it. If the answer is no, say NO. Don’t offer reasons or excuses – you already know why you’re not doing it. Just say no and be ready for the little voice of guilt and give it a flick on the nose.
Scenario number two: You know you should be eating healthy and drinking less because it’s January and THE WHOLE WORLD IS DOING IT but you know what, you have a busy week, limited time and grabbing food on the run is just convenient for now in order to get through your day. Not to mention how dull January is without a glass or two to cheer you up. You feel guilty because all around you everyone else is being healthy, juicing, abstaining and generally morphing into goddesses – but it’s just not your moment! So, stamp on the guilt and say NO – it’s not for me this week! Maybe next week, let’s see…. (doubtful in my case).
Scenario Number Three: You haven’t seen enough of your family/friends, answered every text message/email and crossed out all your to-do list so here comes the wave of guilt to wash over you and tell you you’re rubbish, useless and horrible! Well guess what – you are none of those things, you are normal! None of us are getting it all done every day! Fact. Sit down, take a moment to chill, guilt-free and own it like a BOSS!
Come on ladies, I know we can do it. Keep me posted on your progress.