Our fantastic contributor Lucy Day, The Modern Medium on facing fears….
Impossible. Truly. There won’t ever be a time when you don’t fear ‘something’ be it something tough like failure, loneliness, unemployment, destitution, or something seemingly unachievable like success, financial security or commitment. There will always be something to fear.
Anyone who tells you they are completely fearless is lying.
But if there’s one thing I have learned to do, it’s manage my fears to a degree where they no longer rule my life and if they do crop up, I can pretty much rationalise and stamp them out within a few hours.
There are a few things I truly no longer fear (but once did):
Speaking my truth
Amongst loads of others.
How did I get over my fears?
By experiencing each and every one of them and seeking to learn about them, understand them and realise that I can cope, I’m not going to self destruct and if I did it once, I can do it again.
Death – yeah so I haven’t strictly died, but I have experienced enough to know that it isn’t the big black hole that some of us think it is. I’m not afraid of dying, nor the process because I know that it’s natural, it’s what happens and it’s inevitable. I accept it.
For most of us, fear is linked to a lack of knowledge. We fear what we don’t really know much about.
Are you scared of being bitten by a spider? Have you ever been?
Scared of dying in a plane? Have you ever done?
Fearful of being alone for the rest of your life? Ever experienced that?
Most of our fears are completely unfounded and based on an over inflated version of something that we have partially experienced.
Sure, you may have seen a massive spider and it scared the crap out of you.
You may have been in a plane when it hit major turbulence and you thought you were a goner.
You might have been alone for a few years or more and not enjoyed being lonely.
But the extent of the fears you feel are often nothing more than your imagination working overtime.
Fear of Success
Heard of that? You, me, we’re all suffering from that one. 99% of us live a life which is WAY below our potential. We are all playing at it, quite frankly, and few of us are really living a life which matches up to the ability, possibilities and opportunities that truly face us.
Why? Partly because we’re ridiculously distracted by anything that isn’t moving us towards success.
We’re our own worst enemies when it comes to putting our brave on and making things happen.
We can be just plain lazy at times.
We have no idea just how frickin’ awesome we are.
When you step outside of yourself and really think about it, you’re no different to anyone else. We ALL have the same potential, we all have our own hidden talents, some more ‘exciting’ than others. We all have the ability to focus one or many of our senses and make a true success out of our lives – however we choose to define that success.
But we don’t. Why? Because most of us operate from a place of fear.
Fear of messing up.
Fear of looking stupid.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear of putting ourselves out there.
There’s a chance that only one person could read this thread that I’m writing now. And a good chance that the one person could be my (lovely) mum!
But there’s also a chance that there could be two people reading this thread and one isn’t my mum and that very person really needed to read this today.
So I’m moving out of a place of fear and writing it. Because I can either operate in fear and do nothing, or get the fuck over myself and get out of my own way, and do SOMETHING.
I can’t make you FEARLESS. But I can help you to overcome your daily fears and motivate you to get the hell out of your way and put one foot in front of the other and make something out of this life.
You deserve to live in Love, not Fear.
You owe it to yourself.
Fear is an illusion – stop letting it rule your life.